On bonds

When our friend visited from Florida with her two girls in June, I got a unique perspective of breastfeeding and the relationship babies and toddlers have with their mommies and their boobies. The youngest was 2 and she came into the nursery while I was nursing Cole. He was maybe 4 weeks old. What she said exactly I can't remember, and I meant to write it down but never did. But the gist of what she said hit home.

She said that breastfeeding and being close to her mother made her happy. Even though she had stopped nursing months before that, the bond was still there. It was the sweetest thing a child could say, I thought. And I think of it often, especially during those late night feedings when it's just Cole and I. It helps put things into perspective, especially when things get tough.

And lately, nursing Cole has not been easy. During the day, in the evening or in the morning- basically, when Cole is more awake than sleepy- he is very distractible. Now I know I've mentioned this in posts before, but it is something that hurts, physically, and that is a struggle for me, to continue doing something for my son that sometimes causes me pain. I know I won't stop, so maybe it is pointless to write about it, but I felt it was important to acknowledge what we as mothers do for our children.

My reasoning for breastfeeding my son has evolved, as has our relationship, since he was born. First I did it because I knew that breastfeeding was the best thing for his health and well being. My friend Allison had done it and she and Juni were reaping the benefits of it by the time Cole was born. Juni was growing so well, and she and Allison shared a special bond fostered by their breastfeeding relationship.

Even though I saw evidence of it's benefits, I didn't have a true understanding until I was well into breastfeeding and I saw how well Cole had grown since birth (he went back to his birth weight in a matter of days). I can't tell you how good that made me feel - to know that my milk was so nourishing.

I continue to breastfeed him because I can't imagine not doing it. While it nourishes him, I know it also brings him comfort and security. It's amazing how quickly he falls asleep when he starts nursing in the middle of the night. It's like all he needs is my closeness, my warmth, and my love, and that is enough to make him feel safe and secure. So secure that he drifts back into baby dreamland the moment he reaches me.

Sent from my iPhone