Wherein Clem interferes

This is a funny story, in part because the root cause is the lack of attention we now give our cats. But please folks, tell me a person who gives more attention to a pet once their baby is born and I'll tell you they're lying.
So it was 4:06 p.m. and Cole had just fallen asleep in my arms. I had swaddled him, shushed him, swung him and had even tried the pacifier.  In some baby book somewhere Keith and I determined that it takes approximately 20 minutes for a baby to fall into a deep sleep. So, after swinging him and shushing him, it was clear he was on his way to a deep sleep. So I settled into our bed and sat up holding Cole waiting for the time to pass. Clem was in the window. I watched her, contemplating my next move. I knew that by 4:26 I would have to move Cole into the co-sleeper. I was conflicted - should I move Clem out of the window? I could picture her jumping down from the window (over the co-sleeper) and onto our bed, waking Cole up in the process. I did NOT want this to happen, under any circumstances. She answered that question for me (or so I thought) by jumping down with little fanfare while Cole was in my arms. However, instead of moving to her perch at the end of the bed, she saw the opportunity and struck. What opportunity, you ask? To be pet of course. So, she pushed her face against my hand and for the next few minutes tried to get me to pet her every which way. I tried to pat her, but I realized that the more attention I gave her, the more she sought and I was still holding a vulnerable sleeping baby in my arms. Finally, she got the hint (or so I thought) and jumped back into the window. At 4:24, I checked Cole's legs - totally limp. That meant my next plan was to be put into action.

I walked around our bed to the other side and partially kneeled on the bed as I strategically and ever so quietly placed Cole into his co-sleeper. Clem took this as her opportunity to win more attention from me. So she jumped down from the window, over my back, and landed behind me. Next thing I know, she's climbing up my back. Yes, you did not read that wrong. She began to climb. Somehow I managed to shake her off while still holding Cole and not moving him. Of course, the shake-off was not hint enough for this cat. No, she began to push her way into my arms. Yes, the arms that were holding Cole of course. Finally, I moved more onto the bed so as to block her body completely from interfering with the Delicate Transfer of the Sleeping Baby. After a few minutes, Cole was sleeping soundly in his co-sleeper, so turned on the monitor and slipped out the door, making sure Clem left before me. I did not close the door completely. It just needed a little push to re-open and that was fine, because that made the least amount of noise.

This whole time I had to go to the bathroom, so that's where I went first. And of course, Clem followed. As I'm sitting on the toilet (with the bathroom door open because that's how I roll), Clem prances over to the bedroom door and what does the little nervy heartless cat do?? She tries to push open the door. That's right. If you have cats you know that no cat likes a closed door. Whenever a door closes behind them or in front of them, they must suddenly open it. Even if they begged for hours to get in or our or wherever. They will change course immediately if it means a) they open the door themselves or b) they annoy the shit out of their owners until the owners open the door for them. So from my perch on the toilet I loudly snap my fingers at her. Normally, I'd yell "Clem!" but there was a sleeping baby behind door number 1 and I was not about to wake him. Nor was I going to let her! She listened for a second by backing up. Another second later and she's attempting once again, in front of my very eyes, to push open the door. I snapped my fingers even louder. And finally, finally, she got the hint I'd been trying to get across since she began bothering me - DO NOT WAKE THE SLEEPING BABY!!!!! Or in her small cat mind: "No."