1) Never wait until the last minute to buy diapers.
2) Always keep several diapers stashed in various places in the house so that when you don't follow Lesson #1 you have back-up.
3) NEVER leave a poop shoot unattended (by a diaper).
4) If the baby starts to make a face or whine or even cry while you're changing his diaper (and he's past his screaming blood murder phase) he's going to pee on you.
5) A little pee on your shirt is not a big deal.
6) Never change a baby's diaper immediately after nursing/feeding.
7) Poops, like sneezes, usually come in threes, and fours, and fives, and sometimes even in sixes.
8) If the baby is crying bloody murder and you've fed him, changed his diaper and he just had a nap, take him outside to look at plants. He will be mesmerized.
9) Changing a onesie because of excessive drool is futile. Instead, put on a bib. It's probably much easier to change a bib several times a day than a onesie. Trust me on this one.
10) It will take the father some time before he can remember the baby's date of birth in a split second. Remember, it took him some time just to remember your birthday. And even longer to remember your anniversary.
11) Pet the cats once a day. If you don't, they will start to walk on your back when you are bending over to put the baby down to sleep.
12) Showing the baby a new face always brings a smile to his face. It helps if it's a real person, but it's OK if it's just a picture.
13) Walking the stroller and texting/emailing are not recommended unless you live on a road that is not often traveled.
14) Something that worked yesterday may not work today.
15) Never leave a dirty diaper near a kicking foot.
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