Old friends

I have a lot of posts to write, but very little time. June is to teachers what April is to accountants.  Grading, grading, grading, planning review, finals, the list goes on and on. And we must do this in 90 degree heat while trying to ignore the students who are complaining about the heat. Really? Because from where I'm standing (and running around), you're just sitting there. And because this past weekend was birthday bonanza, I have to spend my weeknights sleeping. So short and sweet and probably just lots of pictures. Maybe the way some of you like reading my blog? Maybe. I'll be back to writing lengthier posts when I have a good free hour (a few days, a few weeks?).  I'm also currently working on making a book out of the first year of Cole's life in blog posts. I've imported two weeks worth of posts from my pregnancy blog and on Friday (Cole's birthday) into my blurb account. That is also going to be a time consuming process, but that was my goal when I started this blog, and I'm all about accomplishing my goals.

A short list of my accomplished goals (albeit some concessions)
I breastfed for a year and counting. (I pumped for 9 months and had to supplement with formula for 8, but I still kept at it).
I gave birth to Cole without using any pain medication or contraction inducing drugs. (But I was on medication for 3 straight months for pre-term contractions).
I graduated from graduate school with a 4.0 (and Irritable Bowel Syndrome - all that stress had to go somewhere!).
You see where this is going?

Anyway, the following are pictures from our visit to the DiLorenzo's. Andreea and I have been friends for 22 years. When we were kids, we envisioned living next door to each other and hanging out on each other's porches. Unfortunately, life has forced us to live far away from each other, but not too far that we can't visit now and then. She lives 2.5 hours away in the Garden State and we're trying to visit each other more often now that we have kids very close in age. Isn't it lucky we both have boys? Keith took all of these awesome pics...

Cole found his favorite thing in the world: a ball!

Cole is so good at sharing.

Here's Cole putting his mouth on another baby's toys. Thankfully, his mama understands.

Off in thought. (And no it was not my idea to dress my son in stripes and camoflauge).

Lucas' outfit is much more coordinated than Cole's. Here he is on his chair. (Cole got one for his birthday, but that's for a later post).

Keith likes this because even though I'm the only one looking at the camera, everyone else is looking at someone else in the picture.

Cole: Yo, wassup Lucas?! 

Lucas: Yo, chill Cole!

What a cutie!

Cole discovers the coolest toy EVER!

So serious, yet so innocent. I think THIS one is my favorite.

One year ago

"One year ago"

One year ago
You came pounding into my world
crawling up my chest
and into my heart.

One year ago
you held your fist to your face
and looked at me
with my serious face.

One year ago
you stuck your tongue out at me,
and I couldn't believe that you had lived
inside of me.

One year ago
today
we welcomed your birth;
we held you in our arms;
we reveled in our love for you,
for us,
for our new family.

One year ago
you became our child;
we became your parents,
and we grew up.

Happy First Birthday

to the baby you've been.

Happy First Birthday

to the little boy you will be.

                               

Daily cuteness: He's a-walkin'!

Our First Year in Parenting Advice: Beware of Baby Trainers

The following is the final post in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears. 


This is what Dr. Sears has to say about baby trainers:

Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This "convenience" parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.

There is so much to be said about this topic, namely because, since re-entering the workforce, I have been assaulted with advice from baby trainers. Fortunately, I work with a man whose wife does not want to allow their child to cry himself to sleep, so we trade horror stories of sleep deprivation and virtual all-nighters on a fairly regular basis. (Mostly, we try to one-up each other on who had the worst night. And then we laugh about it). At first, the baby trainers had a field day with this, doling out advice as if their way was the ONLY way. I knew it was well meaning, but not what I wanted to do as a parent. However, I couldn't help but think I was doing something wrong because so MANY of them had done this for their children and their children "turned out just fine." Finally, after months of this, they finally realized we weren't going to listen to them, so they stopped bothering us. But the echoes of their advice still sound in my ears, so whenever we trade stories, I can still hear them saying, "Let him cry it out!" long after they've stopped telling us how to train our babies.

Just the other day, I found myself nursing Cole at day care with another mother and her son, who is right around Cole's age. Her son is known as a champion napper. This kid sleeps 2-3 hours a pop with no problems. Nothing, save one of the teachers waking him up, can disturb this baby's solid sleep. I suspected baby training, but I couldn't be sure. So I had to ask. She said that he woke up every 2-3 hours when he was several months old and when this continued at age 4 months, she decided he needed to sleep when she slept, and fit into her schedule. So she stopped going in to get him. She said that when he realized no one was going to get him, only then did he sleep. And here is where the way I want to raise my child differs fundamentally from the baby trainers and their beliefs and expectations. I don't expect him to fit into my schedule, nor do I ever want him to think - for even a moment - that I'm not there for him.

Our First Year doing the Balancing Act

The following is the sixth post in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears. (Thanks to Blogger's recent "issues" I ended up erasing my post on breastfeeding. So if you're looking for it and you can't find it, that's why it's gone)

This is what Dr. Sears has to say about the Balance:

In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no," and having the wisdom to say "yes" to yourself when you need help.

I can easily tell you how difficult it is to maintain balance as new parents.

Bianca's Exhibit A: I haven't gone to Yoga in months and my idea of "exercise" is running around school making copies or dodging students trying to get to class on time.

Keith's Exhibit B: He would say he barely got to snowboard this past season. Also it's May and he hasn't even gone mountain biking yet, let alone on the road. (He has - in past years - started in March and April.)

I guess, though, if that's the most we have to complain about, then balance can't be that bad for us to manage, right? I think it's a learning process. We learned by mid-winter that we needed alone time, so we reached out to Keith's mom and she was thrilled to babysit. (Keith's sister has also offered - thanks Lauren! We promise to take you up on it soon!) So now we have date nights once or twice a month. And as I've mentioned in a previous post, it makes a world of difference for our marriage.

Back to Exhibit A: I was going to yoga in the winter almost every weekend for a few weeks in a row. But more and more, I'd plan to go then feel like I was needed at home either to be with Cole, or to get work done (grading, planning, etc). And as far as Keith's Exhibit B goes, he would probably tell you that if his wife LET him go, he'd probably have gone more often. And, of course, he would have forgotten his birthday weekend we spent in Lake Placid just so he could snowboard on Whiteface Mountain. Thankfully, he has me to remind him.

The point of all of this "evidence" is to illustrate this fact: we don't always get to do what we want to do. I don't get to read or practice yoga freely like I once did before Cole was born. Keith doesn't get to ride his bicycle or snowboard as freely as he did before Cole was born. It's just a part of parenting that some of the things you enjoy are put on the back burner so that you can focus on the needs of your child and the needs of the whole family. But we do try hard to do some of what we want to do. As mentioned before, we carve out time when we know it's important. Hence, the date nights, the snowboarding weekend, my birthday spa experience, etc. It's not frequent, but when we do it, we do it up nice.

The balancing act we are constantly refining is not limited to our marriage or ourselves as individuals, but also between parenting and other factors of our lives. For instance, work and parenting has been a struggle for both of us. Pumping during my free time at work leaves me with, well, no free time at work. And that leaves me with less time to spend with Cole on the weekends. When I finally realized I got more work done at work AFTER SCHOOL, Keith arranged to leave early one day a week so he could pick up Cole by 4:30, and I could stay at work until 5 or 6. This has only happened a few times, but it's amazing how much I can get done in my quiet classroom in a couple of hours. For Keith, balancing work and parenting means he's found it a challenge to follow up with potential wedding clients, nor has it been easy to schedule photo shoots at his studio.

Balancing friendships and parenting is another challenge. There have been many times when friends called me, but I either forgot to call them back or called them back several weeks later. It's really a lack of time and exhaustion. I'd love to catch up on my phone calls over the weekend or on weeknights once Cole is sleeping, but we don't have the time. On weeknights, we're too busy cooking dinner, eating dinner, cleaning up dinner, and making tomorrow's lunch, cleaning pump parts, preparing tomorrow's pump bag, etc. By the time we're done, it's 8 or 8:30 and we are pooped. Since I have to wake up at 5 a.m.,  by 8:30 I just want to collapse in bed and sleep (which of course never happens because 9 times out of 10, Cole wakes up just as I'm drifting off to la la land). On weekends, it's go go go and we're trying to get done around the house what we couldn't get done during the week.  I wish I could call friends and catch up, but Cole requires my constant attention, especially that he's so mobile. And if he's napping, then I'm either a) doing housework b) doing work work c) writing a quick post on this here blog or d) playing some other form of catch up with my own life.

Weekends are yet another balancing act. It's a constant struggle to "get things done" and spend quality time with each other. We are constantly trying to balance housework with family time. And then there's the weekly food shopping that needs to be done and that needs to somehow be worked around Cole's naps. We've been trying to balance those friendships by getting together with friends over the weekends. This has not been easy, but over the past five months we've seen a number of friends we can't always talk to on the phone. Granted, we don't see these people often, but when most of our friends with kids live at least an hour away, then that's the best we all can do.

And that's really what it comes down to. We are doing the best that we can do. Cole comes first, no matter what. If that means canceling last minute to go to a wedding (which is what we had to do in September when Cole caught his first cold), then we do it. Yes, someone might get mad and maybe they won't understand (especially if they don't have kids), but we can only hope that someday, they will go through the same thing we are, and then they'll think - ah, I get it.  If it means not going to yoga or snowboarding frequently, but finding time only every once in a while, then yes, that's what we have to do. We are realizing how fast time goes by and we know that these years will fly by. Already, one year has almost passed, and it feels like yesterday that we had our first sleepless night.

Our First Year in Crying

The following is the fifth in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears.

This is what Dr. Sears has to say about the Belief in the Language Value of your Baby's Cry

A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate. (See Crying and Cry it Out)

I am so grateful to Randalin for starting these posts on her blog. If she didn't, I don't think I would have really taken the time to reflect and examine my style of parenting. These posts have helped me look at the parent I've been and think about the parent I want to be.

The other posts I've written so far were the easier ones. This has been, by far, the hardest. I've been thinking about it for the past few weeks, and am only writing it now, one week before Cole's first birthday. Why has this post been particularly hard? Because of the subject matter. If any of you read this blog when Cole was a newborn, you'd know that he was colicky. He cried a lot. So that time is not so much a blur that I can't remember, but little moments in time that I can't forget. 

I can't forget holding him in every which way, only to have him cry harder and louder. I can't forget how I'd bring him outside and walk him back and forth, back and forth underneath the eaves of our front porch. It was only then that he'd calm down for a little while. I can't forget my frantic, pleading phone calls to Keith at 4 p.m. telling him he needed to come home NOW, only to have Cole calm down enough for me to remain sane until Keith came home at 6.

Half the time, I had no idea why he was crying. Half the time I thought I did, but wasn't sure if I was right. Most of the time though, I would shake my head and wish I could call Dr. Sears and ask him why I couldn't get my colicky baby to like to be worn.  (Because everyone knows that if a baby is worn, he cries less, and fusses less, and sleeps better, yada, yada, yada.) Truly, the only thing that Cole liked was when we held him. And we did a lot of that for the first three months of his life.

His crying obviously has evolved, but the advice we get about how to deal with his cries doesn't. (More on that in my post about baby trainers). I am much more in tune with what he wants now than I was when he was a newborn. The only other newborn I had ever held before Cole was Allison's daughter, Juniper. So when we had Cole I was totally clueless as to what he was crying about. It's not as if my doctor knew either, but for some reason, I felt like I was a failure as a mother because I couldn't figure out that what he wanted sometimes was to breastfeed or to sleep or to, simply, burp. But now, because his crying has evolved by the way I respond to him, I can usually understand, by the way he cries, what it is he needs or doesn't need. And I say "usually" because this is not ALWAYS the case. I wish it were, but sometimes, he cries and cries and I don't know exactly what is bothering him. I still sometimes think to myself, I wish he could talk! I am sure no Attachment Parent is perfect and knows exactly what their child wants at every moment of the day, so I am not going to beat myself up over this fact of our lives.

What the hell is going on with Blogger?

I'm starting to get annoyed with the weirdness of Blogger that is happening as of late. I have numerous posts that have already been posted (I literally had to repost them when blogger finally came back to life this weekend) but the posts I forced to post are still appearing as "scheduled" or in "draft" form on my dashboard page. I won't even go into how it was totally down for at least a day last week. i'm sure most of you remember that. so my question is WTF? i already have a blog for students over on wordpress and I like wordpress because of the many possibilities and the in depth analysis their stats tracker does. But, is it worth the switch?

The fallback teether

Why do I spend any money on teethers when this, obviously, works much better?

Yes, folks. That's a sock. 

Our First Year in Sleeping: Bedding Close to Baby

The following is the fourth in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears.

This is what Dr. Sears has to say about sleeping near your baby...

Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

I didn't worry much about sleep when I was pregnant, because, well, I was on bed rest. I did suffer from pregnancy insomnia, which sucked balls. Thankfully I complained about it in my blog and that made me feel better. I also made up for it by taking naps throughout the day (which I can only dream about now). While I was pregnant I researched the shit out of co-sleepers and cribs. Finally, I decided on the Arms Reach Mini Co-Sleeper and the Graco Lauren crib. My plan (because there is always a plan you think you're going to follow exactly) was to have Cole sleep in the co-sleeper until he was a few months old and then move him to the crib. I was kind of fuzzy on when we'd move him. I just figured I'd know when he was ready.  I wanted him in the co-sleeper, because as Dr. Sears suggested he'd be within "arms reach" of me when I nursed him at night. I knew plenty of other people who used co-sleepers successfully. However, those plenty of other people did not have my baby.

When Cole was born, the co-sleeper seemed like a gigantic crib compared to my itty bitty baby.  We'd wrap him up like a burrito and yes, I admit, just expect him to fall asleep on his own. Which, of course, he didn't. What really happened was this: he'd fall asleep while nursing and then we'd ever so delicately move him back into the co-sleeper. Sometimes he'd wake up and scream like it was a 5-alarm fire. Other times he'd continue to snooze. Eventually though he stopped liking this transfer and would fight us tooth and nail. So finally, we just let him sleep with us. And when we did, we all slept better. At first. 

After a month or so of this, our bed began to disagree. It wasn't falling apart or anything it was just, after all, a full size bed. So we bought a Queen size bed with an amazing mattress. I wrote about in a post last summer. When we all had enough room to sleep, we all slept better. It was nice. For a little while. I enjoyed snuggling with my little baby, and he liked being near us both. However, co-sleeping was not something we wanted to do for the long haul. Why? Because I stopped being able to sleep. Cole always wanted to nurse, and it seemed like every time I so much as moved in bed (I'm a tosser and a turner) he'd wake up and want to nurse. And when Cole didn't get what he wanted, he'd wake Keith up too. So I started to get less and less sleep. There would be mornings when I'd wake up and feel like I barely slept, but I couldn't quite remember when I'd woken up. Finally, we started to put him to sleep in the co-sleeper without nursing him to sleep and without rocking him. That would take upwards of an hour. And Keith was usually the best at it because, as we discovered through a series of tests, Cole screamed louder when it was me hovering over the co-sleeper whispering sweet nothings and gently touching him.When it was Keith, he'd calm down much more quickly. We placed the co-sleeper at the foot of the bed and raised the bar so it was a free-standing bassinet. But, it didn't last long because once he started to roll around and sit up, we knew we had to make a change. Having him in there was just too dangerous. We also were hoping that once we moved him into the crib and his own room, he wouldn't be able to "smell" me as the doctor had suggested. We thought maybe, by some miracle, he'd sleep longer.  Our doctor couldn't have been more wrong. As I've said before in this blog, Cole is just wired to wake up every few hours, so he continued to wake up just as often in his crib as he did when he was in our bed. 

It has been hard trudging out of bed to Cole's nursery every few hours for the past 7 months. Thankfully, he's only on the other side of our bedroom closets. The nights I've taken Cole into bed with us have been (mostly) sweet. I love having him close to me. Sometimes when he's in his own room, in his own bed, I have this irrational fear that some catastrophe is going to happen outside and I won't be near my baby when I should be. But it is becoming more and more difficult to get Cole to actually sleep when he's in our bed, so we have been trying to avoid it. I give in more than Keith (who always says an emphatic "No!" whenever I suggest it). I give in especially when Cole is sick.

In retrospect, the co-sleeper was not really necessary, although I don't regret it. I wish I had thought more about where and how my baby would sleep before I had him. But even if I'd done a ton of research and read all the books, nothing would have prepared me for the nights during his first year. Each and every night was different in its own way. Sometimes I wouldn't mind getting up out of bed to nurse him. I would hold him in my arms and look at him lovingly. Other times I regretted our decision to move him into his own room, and, as I would doze off in the most uncomfortable glider known to man, I would think to myself, I could be sleeping right now! Why are we not co-sleeping??? Other times, I wished we could just put a twin-size bed in there with him so we could get some sleep. There have been times I've been so tired that I've considered just passing out on the floor. But each time, I finish nursing him or rocking him, place him ever so gently into the crib, tip-toe out and go back to my bed where I can actually sleep deeply. And THAT is a nice feeling, even if it IS only for a few hours.

Below are some pictures from this blog and even a treat from my pregnancy blog at the bottom!

Daddy and Cole sleeping in the early weeks

A colicky Cole finally passed out

Sometimes all he needed was a soft pillow

Having fun in his crib

What a napper!

When Cole was sick with the flu, this is where he'd nap

The first week of Cole's life

My Mother's Day post, several days late

So Sunday was my very first Mother's Day. Not to brag or anything, but it was fantastic. A picture perfect day. Literally (see below if you don't believe me). I am sure though, as Cole gets older and more vocal and needy, that Mother's Day won't always be this perfect, so I appreciated every second of it.

When I say perfect, I mean, I really got to do what I wanted to do. Of course, I had my responsibilities still, but I got to decide what we'd do for the day. So what did I decide? I wanted to go hiking. So we did. It was our first real hike of the spring season. First, we did about a mile or so on High Peter's Kill and did something we've never done before: we doubled back. Usually we do a loop, so that we feel like we accomplished something. But we realized that we are pretty out of shape and we had a sleeping baby in a heavy pack (well Keith did - not me), so we hiked what we could and when we started to feel tired, we turned around. We didn't want to totally wear ourselves out. Then we went over to Split Rock and then to the nude beach. Fortunately, there were no nudists around. I essentially was the nudist when I stopped right on the "beach" to nurse Cole and didn't care two licks when a hiker walked past.
After the hike we went to Karma Road in New Paltz and bought a lunch that we ate at Hasbrouck Park. While there we saw another couple with a toddler. They walked past and the woman said to her partner, "What should we do next?" And he replied, "Whatever you want, honey, it's your day," as he wheeled the stroller across the field. And I thought to myself, every day should be like this.

At the park (after lunch and a gazebo nursing session) we played with Cole on the slide and swing. We ate dinner after putting Cole to sleep and then went to sleep ourselves around 8 p.m.  And since it has't happened since, I can safely and without jinxing myself say that Cole slept 8 hours straight that night. Because we went to bed two hours after he did, we got our first six straight hours of sleep since Christmas. Happy Mother's Day to me!

And boy did we need that sleep, because on Monday afternoon Cole came down with an ear infection that brought with it a high fever. Such is life.

Here are the pics from the day...

This is such my favorite shot. I wish I could take credit for some cool technique I used, but Keith says I just got lucky.

These streams are not made for babywearing daddies to cross! Luckily, this is one experienced babywearing daddy! 

Some kind stranger offered to take a family portrait. So we figured, why not take him up on it? It's not like he could get very far with our camera. 

Just in case you didn't notice already - Cole is passed the eff out.

Nursing Cole on the "nude beach"

A little piece of paradise in the mountains.

Our baby tree-hugger  (we start 'em out young!)

Not sure if Cole likes the slide better....

or the swing.

You be the judge.

Date nights

Thanks to Keith's mom, we've managed to have numerous date nights since January.   Life is such a blur, that I can't tell you exactly how many there have been, but I can tell you that they were enjoyable. It was good to get out and just talk about us, our plans, dreams, etc. without having to worry about whether Cole was going to make it through the dinner without having a meltdown. The first date night we went on, a couple brought their toddler. Hearing him giggle tugged at my heartstrings and made me miss Cole something fierce.  We learned our lesson and don't go to dinner so early anymore.

Sometimes we plan out our date nights, but more often than not, we're still deciding what to do as we drive off in the car, leaving Carolyn to have endless fun with Cole.  We try new restaurants, we go on walks, we have coffee or tea together, we drink good beer, good wine. But the real advantage is spending time with each other alone, something we can't even do when Cole is asleep because the monitor is constantly on, the noise of the mountain stream ever present in our ears.  We're hyper aware of his presence (READ: always wondering if he's going to wake up or sleep just a little bit longer).

I think date nights are something all couples need, young or old, because when you have children, as my co-worker says, you take all those years of marriage before the children and throw them out the window. So going out on dates, for us at least, helps us rejuvenate our relationship and appreciate each other more.

The last date night we had was April 30. It was a beautiful day and a gorgeous evening. We went for a leisurely walk at Poet's Walk, a park along the Hudson River just north of the Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge. The park is owned and maintained (beautifully I might add) by Scenic Hudson. There was even a "strenuous" hike along the trail that most people avoided (they doubled back), but was something we forged ahead on. We are big fans of trails that loop.  

Here are the pics from that lovely date night two weeks ago...

The "easy" part of Poet's Walk, the beginning...

What a spectacular view of the Hudson and the Walkway

I know, you're probably thinking, Haven't I seen this picture before? Alas, we always end up taking the same photo of ourselves.

The "strenuous" part of the trail. I love trails that are carved into hills. Reminds me of The Shire.

Kisses (incidentally, that's a new word of Cole's!)

After this we had a yummy dinner at The Local in Rhinebeck, where we've gone before. The beer was awesome and the food was just as spectacular as it was in January when we went last.

Birth Bonding

The following is the second in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears.


This is what Dr. Sears has to say about birth bonding:

The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture.

If you followed or even glanced at my pregnancy blog, then you know Cole's birth story. You also know that I was on bed rest for almost four months. Bed rest, while extremely scary and lonely, was the best thing that happened to me. Why? Because as a person who is always GO GO GO, I was forced to rest for once. I was forced to notice my baby's every movement (but really how could I NOT?) and just be with my baby. Bed rest also gave me the opportunity to read about and practice relaxation techniques so that when it came time to labor, I could do it naturally. Our natural childbirth classes helped as well, but I think putting them into practice was essential. I think if I had been working all along I wouldn't have had the energy or the experience (with endless contractions) to go through natural childbirth.
Because of that bed rest experience, I believe the bonding experience started prior to his birth. On the morning of his birth day, I remember feeling so happy I was crying. I was so exited to finally meet him. Later that night when I finally gave birth to him, I couldn't believe this little person existed outside of me. It was surreal, like it probably is for all first-time parents. I felt like we were able to bond immediately. He was nursing within the first 15 minutes of his birth, and we got to cuddle with him and just stare at him for at least 3 hours before they took him to clean him off. Since I gave birth at a birth center, the nurses promoted in-room sleeping, so Cole slept in the plastic bassinet beside our bed. After the 3 hours they took him to give us some rest, we were never apart from him.

Breastfeeding and sharing our bed with Cole furthered our bond, but I will be writing about that in other posts.

Another wonderful thing also took place in the days and weeks following Cole's birth. He bonded with daddy as well. Keith was able to take off four weeks from work so he too could bond with Cole. He treasured every minute at home, and there were many colicky nights when we'd be up at 3 a.m. helping each other figure out why Cole was crying. Thanks to Dr. Sears' The Baby Book, we learned a lot of techniques to help Cole with the gas. And Keith learned a number of tools to use to help Cole relax and sleep on him without the help of mommy.

Bonding with mommy in bed

Bonding with daddy

Mother Clem sits by as Cole naps after a nursing session. Almost a year later, and I bet I could get a very similar picture.

A few minutes after Cole was born, I instantly became his pillow. This was definitely one of the defining moments of my life.

This week in photos.

I don't take nearly as many pictures with my iPhone as I used to. But I do take some. I usually post them to my Instagram feed, so if you want to check them out and you have an iPhone, my username is highfallsmama. Otherwise, this post is for the photos we take with our many cameras. I am sure everyone has an obsession with something, but in our world, it is cameras. We have too many, and consequently we take too many pictures. Fortunately, we have a cute subject.

Here are some photos from this past week that tell the story of some of what we've been going through...

Though I am still pissed that that dumbass hit my car, we did get a new car seat out of the deal. Here is Cole in his new Evenflo Symphony 65. We liked it so much we bought another one for Keith's car.

This is Cole and I last Saturday taking a walk in the yard. Don't you just love the hat?

Here is Cole stealing Nick's cheerios. He actually pulled Nick's stroller closer to him so he could get his hands on the cheerios. Check out Keith's blog for the pictures Keith took of Nick and his older brother.

Cole conked out after his afternoon (post-work and daycare) nursing session. This is what happens when babies wake up too early. If only he'd listen to me.

Keith took this of Cole standing on his own one morning this week. Cole has been taking more and more steps on his own at home and at day care. (I finally told day care they could tell me if he walked because I had seen enough first steps at home.)

This was taken Saturday after we ate our annual Mother's Day brunch with Keith's mom.

Here is Cole in his first car.

Doesn't he look like such a little boy here?

Cole likes to watch balls bounce, even on his own head.

My Mother's Day dinner Saturday night. If you can see the bruise on my left cheek, it's from my molar being pulled last week, not because my baby banged his head on my head one too many times.