Birth Bonding

The following is the second in a series of posts about our first year as new parents. I am writing through the lens of the Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting, by Dr. Sears.


This is what Dr. Sears has to say about birth bonding:

The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture.

If you followed or even glanced at my pregnancy blog, then you know Cole's birth story. You also know that I was on bed rest for almost four months. Bed rest, while extremely scary and lonely, was the best thing that happened to me. Why? Because as a person who is always GO GO GO, I was forced to rest for once. I was forced to notice my baby's every movement (but really how could I NOT?) and just be with my baby. Bed rest also gave me the opportunity to read about and practice relaxation techniques so that when it came time to labor, I could do it naturally. Our natural childbirth classes helped as well, but I think putting them into practice was essential. I think if I had been working all along I wouldn't have had the energy or the experience (with endless contractions) to go through natural childbirth.
Because of that bed rest experience, I believe the bonding experience started prior to his birth. On the morning of his birth day, I remember feeling so happy I was crying. I was so exited to finally meet him. Later that night when I finally gave birth to him, I couldn't believe this little person existed outside of me. It was surreal, like it probably is for all first-time parents. I felt like we were able to bond immediately. He was nursing within the first 15 minutes of his birth, and we got to cuddle with him and just stare at him for at least 3 hours before they took him to clean him off. Since I gave birth at a birth center, the nurses promoted in-room sleeping, so Cole slept in the plastic bassinet beside our bed. After the 3 hours they took him to give us some rest, we were never apart from him.

Breastfeeding and sharing our bed with Cole furthered our bond, but I will be writing about that in other posts.

Another wonderful thing also took place in the days and weeks following Cole's birth. He bonded with daddy as well. Keith was able to take off four weeks from work so he too could bond with Cole. He treasured every minute at home, and there were many colicky nights when we'd be up at 3 a.m. helping each other figure out why Cole was crying. Thanks to Dr. Sears' The Baby Book, we learned a lot of techniques to help Cole with the gas. And Keith learned a number of tools to use to help Cole relax and sleep on him without the help of mommy.

Bonding with mommy in bed

Bonding with daddy

Mother Clem sits by as Cole naps after a nursing session. Almost a year later, and I bet I could get a very similar picture.

A few minutes after Cole was born, I instantly became his pillow. This was definitely one of the defining moments of my life.