What Sleep Deprivation Does to You

I am so tired lately that I've been doing several things I don't normally do.

I've been leaving expensive reusable containers (two for coffee and one for water) around my school. Unfortunately, even though we have a lost and found, the custodians do not believe in putting anything in it. Instead, as the head custodian informed me, "They chuck it."

I've been allowing my Queens accent to come out. This has been happening more and more, but started, without my realizing it, a few months ago.  It began one day when I was talking to the students about a chapter in a book. One of my students raised his hand and said, "You just said 'chaptah' Mrs. Ferris." And I said, "No, I didn't." And he said, "Yes, you did." The rest of the class agreed with vigorous shaking of their heads.  This was of course done in tongue and cheek. I have a very good repoire with this class, so we can joke about things like this. Lately when I record Cole on my iPhone and play it back to myself or to other people, I cringe at the sound of my voice. It sounds as if I never left Queens - not annunciating my "r's" or saying "caul" instead of "call." You're probably wondering at this point, what the hell is so wrong with a Queens accent? Well, I'll tell you. A long, long time ago, when I was a cub reporter starting out Up Here in the pretty Hudson Valley, if you were from "The City" you were considered an outsider. This was silly because, really, lots of people who live up here, were at one point, from The City. But they believed that, since they had been Up Here for many years, they were from Up Here and that anyone who came here from The City was not.

As a result of this lovely accent, when I interviewed people, especially old-timers, they wouldn't confide in me as they would other reporters who knew the area well and/or were from around here. Once I got the lay of the land down, I started to work on my accent. By the time I got to grad school in 2006, people would be surprised when I told them where I was from. That, to me, was an accomplishment. Eventually, my "new" accent came naturally to me and barely required any effort.

That was until I looked a night with just a few hours of sleep in the face and then went to work an hour away the next morning.  Now, I realize that my new accent was not a new accent at all, just a facade. The real me is coming out. And it don't sound pretty, folks.