Toddler Rules for Eating and Sleeping

Eating
#1) Ask for an ice pop from the minute you wake up until the minute you head to the bath at night. Guaranteed you will get at least one.

#2) Empty your breakfast plate in an out of the way place and tell your mama you finished all of your eggs. Ask for ice pop.

#3) Insist you will not eat your dinner so that they are forced to try bribery. Easily accept their bribe.

#4) Did you get snacks your first time grocery shopping? Demand it every.single.time thereafter. This is called shush-snack. Don't accept any less.

Sleeping
#1) Vehemently insist you don't want to take a nap. Sweetly ask, "I don't have to take a nap?" Cry incessantly when it appears you do. Do not give into the lure of warm milk. It's over if you do.

#2) At nighttime, insist that the light not be turned off. If it seems as if the light might be turned off, pop out of your Mama's lap, walk over to the bookshelf and proudly announce you'd like her to read THIS book! If you tell her the title of the book that will impress her more and possibly convince her to read this "one last book." Make sure it's a long one.

#3) When the light gets turned off (boo), you (shockingly) decide that you want Dada to put you to sleep. Cry for Dada. He may not come in, but Mama may call him. Do not reuse this strategy more than a few times or else Mama will see through it for what it really is - a stalling tactic.

Even if this ends up happening, insist that you still do not need a nap.

This hysterical combination of bridge + I-want-an-ice-pop pose does not = ice pop, unfortunately.