5 percent

So we saw one of the doctors at our practice for our 39 week appointment on Friday. She said that only 5 percent of babies are breech at term. 5 percent. How did my baby fall into such a tiny percentile? How did this all happen? It seemed like it went from my medical team's lack of concern for her breechiness to this "Oh well, guess you're screwed!" attitude in a matter of minutes. It hasn't been for lack of trying, but I wish they had made me more aware of things earlier on, so this didn't all come as such a shock and stress over the past four weeks.

If you couldn't tell already, I'm having a woe is me moment- a classic, "why did this have to happen to me" Mama moment that I've been known to have over the course of my 35.5 years on this earth. I wish she would just turn around. And miracles can happen. But she's literally not in any position to turn around. The other part of me just wants her to be here already, so I can put all of this behind me. So I can hold my little miracle. My little baby girl who survived my uterus, who grew despite the odds, and who lived to tell about it.

To top it all off, I've got a cold or maybe a sinus infection - not sure yet - and I have the C-section scheduled in 5 days. As it gets closer I'm becoming more fearful, and of course, I don't think it's a wise idea to go into a surgery while my body is trying to fight off another infection or virus. If I'm still feeling like crap Monday, I'm seeing our family physician.  And that's that.