38 weeks

She's growing
Just as I suspected, the growth of the baby is good. At my Wednesday appointment the high risk doctor estimated that her weight was 5 pounds, 10 ounces. Still in the 16th percentile, but I make small babies so this is okay and no longer a concern for him. He also surprisingly, did not balk when I mentioned we were looking into a breech competent doctor. He almost seemed to understand. He sat back and said with a smile, "We used to do those all the time, but then the medical legal world..." and we all know where this is going.

Gearing up
We have been getting ready for her "arrival" now for weeks. We've got the bassinet ready, cloth diapers donated to us from our good friends, Allison and Shawn, and we've got the new infant car seat installed. We've got lots of donated newborn girl clothes, which we can mix and match with the "sort of" gender neutral clothes I saved from Cole's storehouse of infant clothes. We've been talking to Cole constantly about the new baby and like he's been doing since the summer, he continues to lift up my shirt, and kiss and hug my belly, saying "Hi Baby." We've shared her name with him half a dozen times, but he keeps telling me her name is Dee Dee and smiles like I'm really going to name my daughter after a character from a cancelled Canadian kids musical show (the Doodlebops). I tell him "Nooooo. That's your baby doll's name!" And then I repeat our baby's name for him and hope it sinks in. Wednesday night it finally did. He said her name and gave her a hug. What's kind of neat about her breech position is that when he hugs my belly her head is right underneath his. The brother/sister bond begins. I know that it's going to be tough for him when he goes from being an only to having a sibling, but I can see how much love he already has for her, and that will make all the difference.

Breech Baby Girl
I've been contracting, but nothing regular for too long of a period of time. I am not dilated, and just a little effaced. Of course, I have the breech issue, and we are currently in the process of thinking out and deciding what to do to make sure we have a positive birth experience. We met with another doctor from our practice today and he filled me in on exactly what a Caesarean birth entails at the birth center and what my recovery would be like. We talked to him about our upcoming meeting with the breech competent doc and he shared that it's only been in the past decade that doctors have defaulted to C-sections for breech babies. He matter of factly said he could and has delivered breech, but as a matter of course, they don't. He told me the options I have that are not necessarily something he would recommend, but I could do  - I could refuse a Caesarean, I could come in 8 cm dilated and in both cases, they'd be forced to deliver her vaginally. But here's the thing - if I were to deliver her vaginally, I would prefer to have someone who is still presently skilled and practiced at delivering breeches, which is why we're meeting with this doc upstate. On the other hand, with breech births, there is definitely more risk involved, which is why a C-section is viewed by the medical/legal community as a safer option.

As I've said before - in the end I just want a healthy, happy baby and if you judge me for my choice, then so be it (although I don't think that you, my dear readers, will). I think back to what people have said to me in the past few weeks and just say to myself - who knows what they would ACTUALLY do if they were in my position. Whatever road you think I should go down, it's all easier said than done.

Photo op?
In the meantime, I have managed to convince Keith to do a maternity session in the garage now that he has given up his partnership in the photography studio he shared with two other photographers. He promises to set up a mini-studio and a background and we'll have a little session Saturday, which will probably include Cole. I am totally jazzed about this idea. With my bouts of anxiety and depression these past two and a half weeks, I could use a little pick-me-up.