Finding my words

Being a working mother and a breastfeeding mother has to be the hardest combination out there. I know I've said this before and I know I am not the only one doing this, so I do not think I am more special or hardworking than anyone else. But, in this little life I lead, I am finding it harder and harder to write down what has been going on. Words, sentences, sometimes entire blog posts swim through my head, yet I rarely find the time to write here. And writing here is what I love to do best. (Although reading other people's blogs takes a close second.)  I hope I'm not losing my readers by not posting regularly or as much as I used to. Sometimes if I have time on the weekends, I'll write a bunch of posts and schedule them to post throughout the week, just so there's something new for you to read at least every two days. I came across one mommy blogger who said she was not one of "those" people who scheduled their posts, but seriously, what is so wrong with being one of those people? I wish I had the time to post every night or every morning, but I don't.

So what's new on the Ferris wheel this week? Cole is still teething. Only now he has like 5 teeth instead of 2. Yes, you read that right. His lateral incisors, one central incisor and another one about to break through any day now.  He also said his first name. He has been determinedly - for two weeks straight - trying to say the name of the day care teacher who will soon own the business. She was the one he bonded with when he first started going there. She held him a lot because back then he demanded to be held before he could crawl (Good God he's been crawling for over 3 months now!) And now that she's kind of an owner in-training (don't ask me why she doesn't yet own the place), she goes from room to room. So she's no longer his teacher. Yet, whenever she goes to the infant room, he calls out to her (literally! I've seen it!) and he actually gets upset if she doesn't go to him and pick him up. So generally, between 3 and 4, she's holding him and walking with him around the building. So he still cares for her and she him. When he started putting the two consonants together (s and t), it took me about a week or so to figure out (and admit to myself) that he was trying to say her name. When I told her, she looked embarrassed but then admitted that the other teachers thought the same thing. So I figured I'd help him along in the process. Knowing Cole, once he has it in his mind to say or do something he doesn't stop until he accomplishes his goal. I think this is a good character trait and I can see where it might be annoying to some. But in the end, my son is no quitter and for that I am happy. Plus, her name is not an easy one for an infant to say, so for him to be able to put it together would be quite an accomplishment. So imagine my surprise when yesterday morning, as he laid in my arms, in a breast milk induced slumber, he said her name almost perfectly (yes - in his sleep! no wonder this kid doesn't sleep - he's too busy getting shit done!) His mouth puckered up, his eyes closed, and he said "Stay-cha." So cute!!! Beyond cute. I wanted to cry tears of joy because my son said someone's name. He's really starting to talk! Did it bother me that he was saying another woman's name who is not his mother? I'd be lying if it said it didn't at all. But that minute feeling of sadness that he also has an attachment to someone else besides me is outweighed so heavily by my happiness for the aforementioned reasons. Basically, I'm not really upset by it.

I am feel like we hit the jackpot with this day care center. Even though it's a day care center, he still gets a lot of one-on-one care.  And because he is beyond adorable with a good personality to boot, everyone wants to see him, say hi to him, hang out with him, etc. They call him the mayor (no joke!) and they confide in me that he is everyone's favorite. He is indeed a social butterfly, my baby, so he actually thrives on the company of the people and children at the center.

I never mentioned it because it has been a whirlwind of crap since, but Keith, Cole and I visited Lori, Tom and baby Tommy Presidents Day weekend. Finally! He was born in October and was almost four months old when we finally first met him. Keith took some adorable pictures, but hasn't been able to work on them since then, so once he has I'll post a few. Lori was generous enough to let me borrow her Baby Einstein DVD collection given to her by her sister-in-law. We've watched a number of them and they are cute and Cole seems to like them. But it amazed me that some of the DVDs are so basic (and at the same time cost so much money). For instance, one of the DVDs (Baby Beethoven maybe?) seemed to be merely a puppet in front of a black screen with Beethoven music playing in the background. Seriously? While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it shocks me that they'd actually CHARGE for the privilege of viewing that when it probably cost next to nothing to produce.


This weekend will hopefully be a good one. Today, Keith is going to take pics of Cole in the studio and then we're going to head over to Rhinebeck to Hudson Valley Footwear to look at Pedi-peds for Cole. I like the Robeez shoes and all, but the elastic makes marks in Cole's ankles if he wears them for too long. The Pedi-peds are secured onto their feet with velcro and will hopefully be more comfortable.
(Thanks to Mommy A for the recommendation!) Sunday is a wild card. Keith wants to go snowboarding, but I need to grade and plan (the usual!). And thus continues our struggle. It sucks that I have to bring work home with me. But it is what it is. Difficult as it may be to juggle, I have to accept my lot and move on. It's what I chose, after all.