Daily Cuteness: Who knew?

Who knew a toothbrush could be such a great distraction and a teething toy to boot? Give this to Cole while he's on the changing table and suddenly, a serene air settles on my formerly screaming child. It's a wonderful thing. We briefly lost this toothbrush (for about 2 days) and you've never seen me search for something so intensely.

Daily Cuteness: Hide and Go Seek

Now you see me...

Now you don't!

Okay - let's play again!

The top one

Here is a picture of Cole in the early morning hours one weekend not too long ago. You can see his top tooth. Hidden are three more of the top. It's weird because everytime I try to count how many are growing in up there it always seems like more than 4. But I've counted several times this week and am now 100% sure he's got 4 on the top. The top one that you see is the one that grew in first, so it's grown in the most.

All things electronic

This is probably true of most babies, but Cole seems to like electronic things. He likes things that light up, have digital displays or make noise. This means he likes things that I'd prefer he not play with. But sometimes when those things just happen to sit around the house in easy to reach places, it is difficult to stop him from obtaining these objects. He often gets his hands on any of the following: the baby monitor, the remote control, the telephone, the alarm clock, the digital photo frame, etc.

Vacation Envy/ Vacation Flashback

Lately I've been envying people and their cool vacations. A few examples:
Amy, Mike and Sophia went to Mexico recently. I believe they vacationed on the Yucatan Peninsula. The pictures were beautiful and they had a lot of fun (you could tell from the pictures).
P-squared are going to Europe for a few weeks in the late Spring, which means they unfortunately won't be able to make Cole's  first birthday. Fortunately for them, they'll be in Europe!
Keith's friend Melissa is hiking the ENTIRE Appalachian Trail with her father. She flew to Georgia and will walk all the way until the end, in Maine. Her dad is retired. I think that I would like to do that same trip when Keith & I retire. Maybe a portion of it when Cole gets older.

I'm way into road trips. Unfortunately, I never had the cash to do a road trip across the country. I've only seen parts of the midwest from an airplane. However, in the Spring 2009, before we got pregnant with Cole, Keith and I did a road trip down south. We took the coast down to North Carolina (Outer Banks) and stayed in Virginia Beach along the way (FYI Virginia Beach off season is really cheap and a lot of fun). Then we drove across North Carolina to Ashville (we decided it was a cross between New Paltz and Albany, which meant it was a really cool city). We planned to hike in the Smokies but the weather was unseasonably cold and it had snowed, causing them to close the roads into the National Park. Apparently they don't believe in snow plows. So we settled on Pigsah National Park and had a fun time on a few gnarly trails. This all leads me to the fact that my spring break, which is coming up in several weeks. My birthday is during that week too. Hence, we are going to go somewhere. We realize we have to be reasonable since we will have a 10 month old with us (that birthday is coming up very soon!), so we may just end up a few hours away in the Berkshires. Time will tell. Either way, I'm looking forward to a little R & R. Ha ha. I just said Rest and Relaxation. Like THAT would happen. Okay. I'm looking forward to a little time somewhere else besides here with my family. I'd prefer it to be warm. But I'm not picky (now Keith is laughing).

 For pure entertainment, here are some pics from that awesome road trip we took two years ago.

 

It took us forever to get to this waterfall in Pigsah. But it was worth it. After all, we got to take this picture! And no, we did not pay a stranger to take this. Keith set the camera up on a tree stump and the camera did the rest.

 

The windy Outer Banks

 

Me on the largest sand dune on the East Coast

 

Keith driving somewhere in Delaware. Did I mention he did most of the driving?

 

Sunset from the road in Tennessee. 

9 Months: Studio Shoot

Are you getting my good side, Dada?

Oh boy, Mama's gonna chase me again....

Stop. Kissing. Me. Please.

You're crazy, Mama.

I love you Mama, but seriously, you gotta let me handle this.

I love the last one. He's always pushing off of me somehow, ready to take on the world.

So which one is your favorite?

Daily Cuteness: A morning ritual

On the plus side

I get to indulge a little while pumping. And, yes, nowadays I do consider reading novels to be indulging, especially books with a romantic bent.

Oh, the pain

This is what it feels like when your 9-month old baby (with teeth) first latches onto your boob when it has a milk blister.  No joke. Photo courtesy of my husband who took this of his own accord.

More words

Cole said another name on Sunday - Stella. This is the name of another baby in the infant room at Cole's day care. She's a few months younger than him, and she is by far the quietest baby there. She does have the clearest blue eyes and has a very sweet smile. It was very sweet to hear him say her name. It happened just after he woke up from a nap with Keith and I Sunday morning (or rather - this afternoon). (Thanks daylight savings for making us more sleep deprived than we already were!) Even after saying Stacia's name successfully, he's still been trying to make the "St" and "Sta" sound. So Keith and I are constantly coming up with variations: "Statistics" "state" "Start" "Stuff" the list goes on and on. So he woke up from his nap and said his version of "Stella" twice. (it sounded like "Steya") Of course, I had to check with Keith for confirmation, but he heard the same thing I did. So cute! It happened again when I was showing him Kiwi's tail while feeding him a mix of mangoes and bananas. Kiwi had taken the opportunity to sit on my lap, so I said, "See, this is her tail," holding it up for him to see. And he replied: "Tail" but without the "l". Then, later when I was singing "quack quack" along with a song about ducks that was on our Music Choice Toddler Tunez cable channel, he said "Duck." I think he learned that from his Baby Einstein exersaucer. It's surreal listening to him say actual words instead of just babble. It's like he's turning into this little person.  And this person is quite a talker!

His looks are also starting to change. He's starting to look more like a little boy (specifically- a little version of Keith) and less like a little baby. I think the change we're seeing is that his face is getting longer. Maybe this is all part of his grand entrance into toddlerhood (which I know is still some time away.) I'm not trying to rush it, by all means, but I am noticing it. Keith is too. In fact, he was standing in front of the television the other day and he turned around to look at us, and Keith turned to me and commented that Cole looked different right then. As much as possible I treasure the moments we have together, because I know how quickly it all goes. I look at myself for a perfect example. I'm almost 34 and I can still remember trying to keep pace with my father's long legs on the day of my seventh birthday. I was trying to convince him that I was a "big girl now." I can still hear the sweet laughter in his voice as he readily agreed that  "Yes, you're a big girl, now, Bianca."

Our new game

So last week, when I picked up Cole from day care, one of the teachers informed me that Cole had just been involved in a healthy, fun game of chase with the teacher's 7-year-old daughter, who goes there after school. So later that evening, when Cole was doing his usual walk around the leather ottoman, I decided to play a combination of chase and peek-a-poo. He loved it so much that he squealed and laughed. He laughed so heartily it made my heart melt! This is now our go-to game. We play it often. And he has started to play elsewhere - in fact when we were shooting at the studio Saturday, he started to play! I hid behind the chair he was supposed to be posing on and he got down on all fours and crawled away, laughing all the while. It was so cute! We got some adorable photos as a result (studio shots to come in a few short days).

Eating solids: Cole's way or the Highway

So just when we thought we had it all figured out, Cole tricked us again. Apparently, he still really despises eating while sitting in his high chair. (Although high chairs at restaurants are perfectly acceptable, and thank goodness for that!). He prefers to eat while hightailing it around the living room. So around 5:30/6 each night, after wearing him for about a half hour, I put his bib on and plop him down on the living room floor. He opens his mouth; I give him a spoonful; he eats and crawls away. Five to ten seconds later - depending on his level of hunger - he crawls back, mouth open, ready for more.

Here is Cole taking a break from eating to play with the baby monitor.

Cole crawls back to me for more.

Cole takes a longer break to play with his books.

Breastfeeding Issues: The Definitive TMI Report

Breastfeeding has its challenges. I'm glad I didn't know about them beforehand. I might've said, "No, thank you" and bottle fed instead. After all, I had no breastfeeding role models growing up. It was only later in my pregnancy that I really considered breastfeeding.  Thankfully, when I was pregnant I had good role models: My mother-in-law and my friend, Allison. From their experiences, I felt I could and should breastfeed. I am very happy I chose to do it. I feel such a strong bond with my son. I know there are so many benefits to breastfeeding, but to me, that closeness is the strongest reason of all, especially when I am away from him 9.5 hours of each day. That being said, I haven't been so lucky as far as the things that can go wrong while breastfeeding. And it's during times like these (when some of these things happen at the SAME time) that I feel like giving up. But then I think of that relationship we have and I feel such tremendous sadness at the potential loss of that relationship that I veto the idea right away. It's like when I was an hour away from giving birth. It was then that I felt like giving up and getting the drugs. But I knew in my heart of hearts I wouldn't do that. I knew I could do it. I knew I was strong enough, but there was still this tiny piece of doubt there. But as I said it to Keith (I think I said something like: "How did I ever think I could do this without drugs???!!") I knew I didn't want them. I just needed to say it (or scream it).

Here's the TMI report:
Since breastfeeding, I've had the following things recur on a regular basis. All of the issues I've faced are uncomfortable and painful.
1) milk blisters
2) clogged duct (same one over and over) because of the milk blisters
3) supply issues
4) sore, cracked nipples
5) bacterial infections
6) yeast infections

If I would have my damn period already, #5 might not keep happening. It's nice not having to spend money on sanitary pads or have to worry about cramps or PMS, but really, I think 18 months is long enough to go without having your period.

I still have not figured out why I keep getting # 1 and #2. But here's how it resolves, much to my surprise: I get engorged, Cole nurses, it pops and the duct clears. How weird is that? Doesn't it seem counter-intuitive to let my breast get engorged while I have a clogged duct? Yes, it does. And THAT is why I believe the ducts are not a problem INSIDE my breast, but are merely caused by the blister on my NIPPLE. But my doctor doesn't think so. And that's why she said Friday that I should see a breast specialist if I want someone to fix it because she sure as hell couldn't. (And she tried - at my request). Consequently, I've decided to no longer seek help for this problem. I should just trust in my son's ability to be a nursing champ and let him clear it up.

And there is finally good news to report on #3 - I pumped one ounce from my breast yesterday and another ounce today. Some of you are thinking, how is one ounce good? Well, the right breast has always had less milk. The most I've ever pumped from there was 3 ounces and that must have been at the peak of production, because one to two ounces was the usual amount to come from there. And just a few weeks ago, I was pumping drops. I had hardly any milk coming out of there AND it would take around 10 minutes for anything to come out. So the milk is flowing more quickly AND I am getting much more than those measly drops. The bad news is that Cole still does not want to nurse on that side. He does when he's really tired - usually right before bed or in the middle of the night. But he gives up fairly quickly at all other times.  It's funny, because he's usually a determined little baby. Once he wants to do something, nothing will stop him. So my guess is, he dislikes nursing on that side now, because he got so comfortable and used to nursing on the left side. Thank goodness for my Medela Harmony Manual Breast Pump. That thing rocks!

Finding my words

Being a working mother and a breastfeeding mother has to be the hardest combination out there. I know I've said this before and I know I am not the only one doing this, so I do not think I am more special or hardworking than anyone else. But, in this little life I lead, I am finding it harder and harder to write down what has been going on. Words, sentences, sometimes entire blog posts swim through my head, yet I rarely find the time to write here. And writing here is what I love to do best. (Although reading other people's blogs takes a close second.)  I hope I'm not losing my readers by not posting regularly or as much as I used to. Sometimes if I have time on the weekends, I'll write a bunch of posts and schedule them to post throughout the week, just so there's something new for you to read at least every two days. I came across one mommy blogger who said she was not one of "those" people who scheduled their posts, but seriously, what is so wrong with being one of those people? I wish I had the time to post every night or every morning, but I don't.

So what's new on the Ferris wheel this week? Cole is still teething. Only now he has like 5 teeth instead of 2. Yes, you read that right. His lateral incisors, one central incisor and another one about to break through any day now.  He also said his first name. He has been determinedly - for two weeks straight - trying to say the name of the day care teacher who will soon own the business. She was the one he bonded with when he first started going there. She held him a lot because back then he demanded to be held before he could crawl (Good God he's been crawling for over 3 months now!) And now that she's kind of an owner in-training (don't ask me why she doesn't yet own the place), she goes from room to room. So she's no longer his teacher. Yet, whenever she goes to the infant room, he calls out to her (literally! I've seen it!) and he actually gets upset if she doesn't go to him and pick him up. So generally, between 3 and 4, she's holding him and walking with him around the building. So he still cares for her and she him. When he started putting the two consonants together (s and t), it took me about a week or so to figure out (and admit to myself) that he was trying to say her name. When I told her, she looked embarrassed but then admitted that the other teachers thought the same thing. So I figured I'd help him along in the process. Knowing Cole, once he has it in his mind to say or do something he doesn't stop until he accomplishes his goal. I think this is a good character trait and I can see where it might be annoying to some. But in the end, my son is no quitter and for that I am happy. Plus, her name is not an easy one for an infant to say, so for him to be able to put it together would be quite an accomplishment. So imagine my surprise when yesterday morning, as he laid in my arms, in a breast milk induced slumber, he said her name almost perfectly (yes - in his sleep! no wonder this kid doesn't sleep - he's too busy getting shit done!) His mouth puckered up, his eyes closed, and he said "Stay-cha." So cute!!! Beyond cute. I wanted to cry tears of joy because my son said someone's name. He's really starting to talk! Did it bother me that he was saying another woman's name who is not his mother? I'd be lying if it said it didn't at all. But that minute feeling of sadness that he also has an attachment to someone else besides me is outweighed so heavily by my happiness for the aforementioned reasons. Basically, I'm not really upset by it.

I am feel like we hit the jackpot with this day care center. Even though it's a day care center, he still gets a lot of one-on-one care.  And because he is beyond adorable with a good personality to boot, everyone wants to see him, say hi to him, hang out with him, etc. They call him the mayor (no joke!) and they confide in me that he is everyone's favorite. He is indeed a social butterfly, my baby, so he actually thrives on the company of the people and children at the center.

I never mentioned it because it has been a whirlwind of crap since, but Keith, Cole and I visited Lori, Tom and baby Tommy Presidents Day weekend. Finally! He was born in October and was almost four months old when we finally first met him. Keith took some adorable pictures, but hasn't been able to work on them since then, so once he has I'll post a few. Lori was generous enough to let me borrow her Baby Einstein DVD collection given to her by her sister-in-law. We've watched a number of them and they are cute and Cole seems to like them. But it amazed me that some of the DVDs are so basic (and at the same time cost so much money). For instance, one of the DVDs (Baby Beethoven maybe?) seemed to be merely a puppet in front of a black screen with Beethoven music playing in the background. Seriously? While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it shocks me that they'd actually CHARGE for the privilege of viewing that when it probably cost next to nothing to produce.


This weekend will hopefully be a good one. Today, Keith is going to take pics of Cole in the studio and then we're going to head over to Rhinebeck to Hudson Valley Footwear to look at Pedi-peds for Cole. I like the Robeez shoes and all, but the elastic makes marks in Cole's ankles if he wears them for too long. The Pedi-peds are secured onto their feet with velcro and will hopefully be more comfortable.
(Thanks to Mommy A for the recommendation!) Sunday is a wild card. Keith wants to go snowboarding, but I need to grade and plan (the usual!). And thus continues our struggle. It sucks that I have to bring work home with me. But it is what it is. Difficult as it may be to juggle, I have to accept my lot and move on. It's what I chose, after all.

And then there were three...

My morning

I really hate pumping, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Our new find

We are planning two camping trips this summer. One to Lake Placid and the other to north/ south lake. We bought this Kelty Kids Adventure pack/ child carrier via craigslist for $40. The owner happened to be another blogger (whatjuliaate.blogspot.com). It was fun meeting her and her son.
We are super excited for yet another awesome craigslist find. This carrier will work perfectly during those camping weekends and on other hiking weekends to Mohonk and Minnewaska. This is Keith doing his rap star pose....while Cole teethes on his fist.

My efforts and the results

So it is far from over (my plot to get my milk supply back up) but I am getting there.

Here's the dealio. On Monday I spoke to an LC who met Cole during the summer. She basically told me I must keep nursing him on the right side as much as I can. And when he refuses to nurse, let him nurse on the left side, but then quickly put him back on the right. I've been doing it, with some success, but he's starting to figure out what I'm up to (which translates into him holding onto my left nipple when I try to release the suction. Fun times!)

I have also been pumping an extra session at night and taking More Milk Plus four times a day. And I have a partner! My friend who is also having supply issues just so happened to text me the other night while I was pumping and we got to talk-texting and it turned out she was also pumping! We were both at the same breaking point too. So we decided to try to be each other's supportive ear and commit to several days of the full dosage of More Milk Plus and that extra night nursing session in addition to the two pumping sessions at work. We'd also try to text during those pumping sessions. I had a set back yesterday (and an all around shitty day) when I left the pump parts to my electric pump at home. I had to use my Ameda manual and did not get enough as I usually do. It sucked big time. Luckily, I pumped at night and then again in the morning, so he ended up drinking almost all breast milk today.

To sum it up, Cole is drinking about one bottle of formula a day to supplement the breast milk. I don't like it, but that's the way it has to be for now. He needs about 12 ounces while I'm at work and I can't pump that much, especially not now. But, maybe I can get there again. Either way, he's getting most of his nutrition from breast milk (as Allison once pointed out) so that's good!

Hanging out with Daddy

His love affair with the baby monitor continues.…

Snot rockets and a SOLID discovery!

So remember the scrunched up face that Cole makes? Well, Keith started playing copy cat with Cole Sunday evening and got Cole to really blow out of his nose while making the scrunched up face. Usually, he does it, but only once. This time, Keith got him to do it multiple times when we discovered that when he did it, it pushed some snot from his nose. He was blowing his own nose! So Keith did it a bunch of times while I was feeding Cole sweet potatoes and turnips (a small victory!) We realized how we could capitalize off of this. So Keith grabbed a few tissues and went to town. Cole blew out all of the snots in his nose! Snot rockets! No Nose Frida needed! (Thank the Lord!)  (see footnote if you want to know more about Nose Frida)

Speaking of small discoveries. I sat down once again with Cole Sunday evening to feed him his solids. The minute I placed him in his high chair he began to cry real tears. And I felt exasperated. I have no idea why he keeps crying like this when the high chair has never been an issue before. So Keith comes in and motions for me to take Cole out. He moves the chair at the opposite end of the table so it has a better view of the kitchen. I place Cole in the chair and Voila! He lights up; I feed him and an amazing thing happens: He eats most of the food. No tears and even an occasional smile. All it took was a change in location!

Footnote: Have I told you about the Nose Frida? If not, it's a Swedish invention wherein one of the parental units suck the snots out of Cole's nose using our own lung power. It's a disgusting concept, but it purports to be germ free (there's a filter involved). And the kicker is that it works much better than the crappy bulb nasal aspirator. Only problem is that the baby gets this look on his face that indicates he is afraid we are going to suck his brain out. Then he screams bloody murder, and the entire process is torture for both baby and parents.

Milk Supply

I haven't written about this in detail before because I was hoping it would be a problem that would be solved by the resolution of Cole's ear infection. But it didn't, and now I'm at a loss. My milk supply in one of my breasts is drying up. It's still there, but it is becoming less and less with each passing day. The milk ejection reflex is very weak, and I rarely feel a let down these days. The cause? Cole stopped nursing on that side.  It might have even started before then just because the milk ejection reflex was weak. And it once had a strong milk ejection reflex, which is the sad part.

What does that mean? It means that when he would suck to get milk, it came right away. But now it takes a while for the milk to come. And that's just not good enough for a hungry baby. Why wait for milk on one side when he can just hop on over to the other side and get the milk quicker and easier? No work involved. The problem continues when I use the electric pump at work. It take sometimes 8-10 minutes of pumping before the milk starts to come out. It works better (the time is cut in half) if I use a manual pump. Although I thought the problem was caused by the pain in his left ear I remembered that it started even before that - probably with the last few milk blisters I had. The milk blister always reappeared on the other breast, and so I would constantly have Cole nurse on that side so I could try to burst the blister. He must have gotten used to that. Damn that fucking milk blister!!! I am so aggravated by all the havoc it has wreaked on my life that it deserves to be cursed.

I've researched the problem on the internet. The solutions are as follows:
-Nurse on the side he doesn't like using different positions (I do this and he gives up fairly quickly)
-Pump after a nursing session so that I maintain my supply (I don't always do this because either a) I'm busy taking care of him or b) I don't want to spend yet another 15 or 20 minutes pumping when I could be doing something else - like grading for crying out loud!).

I've been taking supplements, and it's been helping, but nipple stimulation only 2-3 times a day is not going to keep the milk supply up. In the meantime, I think a call to the birth center's lactation consultant is in order. Maybe she has a better solution. As far as I see it, this could be detrimental to my overall milk supply and to the nipple of the other breast.