Currently all about Cole

Cole is currently...

Watching streamed television through our Roku. We cancelled cable a few weeks ago and are loving the savings and being able to find awesome television shows on Amazon Prime and Hulu Plus. Watching the Rondout and the rest of Rosendale from way up high. The railroad trestle was finally opened on Saturday, connecting Gardiner to Kingston through the old Wallkill Valley Railroad. Below is a picture of he and his friend, Ellie, talking and watching. Those two have all kinds of fun together.  

Reading The Lorax. No joke- this boy read a good portion of the first quarter of the book to me by memory thid past week. I was in my room changing Bevin while Keith took a shower. I heard a door closed, went into his room and found him "reading" to himself. I left, smuggled a cookie from the cabinet into my mouth, checked Instagram, (because Ohmygod I had a few minutes where my 3 year old wasn't demanding my attention and what was I supposed to do with myself?!) I went back in after I heard him calling me.  He asked me to sit down while he read to me. Then wouldn't you know it, he started reciting the words we've so often read to him.  He even did the gravelly voice of the Onceler "come and I'll tell you by my whisper-ma-phone." He has such a love/hate relationship with that character.  But seriously, just when I'm worried we're not reading to him "enough" he goes and does that. 

Eating grapefruits and lemons and oranges, rind and all. He loves citrus, but we try to limit it because his intestines don't always agree with him. On the other hand, my kid likes grapefruit! Since I'm a fan too, Cole and I share my special grapefruit spoon. 

Drinking drinkable yogurt from a local farm called Ronnybrook Farm. They make them in flavors like peach, blackberry, pomegranate and blueberry. It's become his treat when we go food shopping. And when he drinks them, it's become my ritual to give him a straw and his ritual to blow lots and lots of bubbles and promise me a thousand times over that he won't make a mess. I'll give you one guess what usually happens. 

Learning how to touch bugs. I think Cole is a little icked out by bugs, but the  infiltration by the enormous and beautifully loud 17-year cicadas has him intrigued. We find dead cicadas, wings of cicadas and half alive cicadas all along the grass of the neighborhood lawns. We also hear their many calls, one on particular that sounds like a radio signal straight out of the tv show Lost.  Recently during an afternoon walk was the first time Cole actually let a cicada walk on his hand. It was pretty cool. 

Sent from my iPhone

Daily cuteness: Morning smiles never get old

Parenting of Two. Volume 2. Space

This is the second post in a series about the struggles we as a couple face parenting two children. The issues and topics can also be applied to parents of one child, but the struggles just become amplified when you have two. (We compare parenting one child to the calm before the storm. Because parenting two children often feels chaotic and scary. ) As parents we have so many struggles both internally and externally, and we thought it valuable to share them. Each post in the series will revolve around a single issue or topic, which I will talk about in the various contexts of our family life. Last topic was on Time. Today I will discuss Space. The next topic will be about Sleep.

There is nothing quite like finding toys in your shoes to let you know how little of what is yours is actually yours.

As parents of two children we no longer have our own space. One child is always taking up some aspect of it. 

Not to mention we live in a small house (read:1,000 square feet small), so some days it feels like we are practically living on top of one another. I can't tell you how many times I've wished for an upstairs or, at the very least, another bedroom or bathroom.

The solution we have come up with to maximize our space is to utilize the perimeter of our garage as storage, since the attic space above our house is useless and we are denied the luxury of a basement because we live in a Califfornia style ranch house. We pretty much bought stock in Rubbermaid. Not only that but Keith has become a craftsman of sorts when it comes to storing/displaying his winter sports gear. 

We've slowly been working on closets within the house but when you have two children how do you find the time to keep up with it? Even if one is napping, the other is usually waiting to be entertained. (Although a miracle happened the other day, when for the first time in a year, Cole took a nap at home in the early afternoon, instead of an ugly nap right after dinner. It was a miracle in part too, because Bevin was asleep too, albeit on me.)

Although we've figured out a solution for storing things we don't use all of the time, the problem of what to do with the stuff we use regularly is still being worked out. This applies to our clothes that have literally taken over the tops of our dressers, the various seats and entertainment centers we have for Bevin when she dares to let us set her down for a couple minutes, and Cole's many many toys and books. 

What I've started to do is take a page from my friend Allison and store toys Cole doesn't regularly play with. I put two boxes of toys (that Cole chose to put away) in the closet about two months ago and, to be honest, he has completely forgotten about almost all of them. The only exception was the dollhouse that he asked about a month after we stored it.  

The purpose of doing that was to a) save space and b) reintroduce them after some time so he would have renewed interest in them. If no interest then our best bet would be to store them in the garage until Bevin is old enough to play with them.

Another problem we have is the issue of space for both children to sleep. We have a three bedroom house but one of those rooms is a cozy office Keith and I share. We've already downsized and gave Cole the bigger room, so until we move to a bigger house or can afford substantial renovations, Bevin and Cole will have to share a room (once Bevin actually starts sleeping on her own).

One solution that we decided upon would be to purchase a bunk bed for their room. Growing up I always wanted a bunk bed, much like I always wanted a sibling. They always seemed like so much fun (both the sibling and the bed).. Instead though, since I was an only (until my father married when I was 19), my father and grandmother bought me a pretty day bed when I turned 14. It was nice and all, and I appreciated having a special bed that my friends didn't have. But now? I get to live vicariously through my children and buy them a fun bed they can share and play on for years to come. (Internet, please don't jinx me on the sharing and having fun part!!)

How do you deal with the problem of limited space in your house?

Currently we are loving late spring

Summer is technically one day away. Wednesday, the end of late spring, had to be the most beautiful day of the year so far. So perfect in so many ways. We were just about to go grocery shopping when I decided to skip it since Bevin was crying and I had just stupidly let Cole eat two donut holes from Dunkin Donuts just so I could eat a muffin and get my caffeine on with one of their delicious iced teas. We ended up at the Forsyth Nature Center in Kingston. Something totally different from the usual and the perfect day to visit with the animals. I even got to nurse Bevin under the shade of some trees after we said hi to the turtles and bunnies and resident bull and llama. Cole even met a pot bellied pig named Tulip. We punctuated the gorgeous day with a stroller ride around the neighborhood and after Cole begged and begged I finally relented and we went for his THIRD bike ride of the day. This boy and his balance bike. He is getting so good!!!
Keith posted some pics on Instagram from their early morning ride.

And here is my take from the afternoon ride.

So currently I am...

Sending blog posts to my blog from emails I write on my phone (which doesn't even always work! Ugh!) The Blogger App pretty much ruins my photos and makes them so pixelated and unclear that I can't stand using it unless I'm just posting text. So I thought I would solve the problem by buying an App called Blog Go. It worked for a few weeks and then last week it broke down and now you cannot log in and retrieve your blog. They've been "working on it" for five days now. Back to emailing (I used to do this back when Cole was an infant. I'd pump and blog at work) and hoping one of these App developers gets their stuff together and fixes these problems.

Mending my low supply issue on my right side with Motherlove. Of course, then I have oversupply on my left. Why can't they come up with some topical cream that increases supply on one side only??

Recommending the book The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth by Alexandra Robbins. I'm just finishing up this amazing work of non-fiction. It is probably the first non fiction book I've finished in a long time. She argues that the people who are outcasts in high school are the same people who are successful in life. The traits that made them "different" in high school are the same traits they are beloved for in the "real world." All in all an absorbing read.

Wear 'em Wednesday: A joint nap

Yesterday was another 12 hour day of just me and the kids. I'm trying seriously to establish some routines with Cole during the day because I see how effective our nighttime routines are in preventing negative behavior.

But it's not easy, as I'm sure you all know. Something almost always gets in the way, Bevin needs to nurse, or Keith is home and we've decided to do something as a family, or we really need to go food shopping.... You name it, it gets in the way of routines I've tried to put in place. I tell myself that it's good to be flexible and life might be pretty boring if we did the same thing every day. But the fact of the matter is that having even a few routines would go a long way, but we're just not there yet. All of our routines revolve around Bevin eating and Bevin sleeping. 

So yesterday I decided to establish the routine if resting. Keith had said on Sunday that Cole really needed to rest even if he didn't sleep and I thought Yeah, good luck with that. 

But then I realized he was right. And so I went about yesterday trying to establish that routine. I spent two hours trying to get Cole to rest. At first I suggested he lay in bed with Bevin and I, thinking wistfully that maybe all three of us could take a nap together. And wouldn't that be all kinds of awesome. Of course what ended up happening was two tired kids and a tired mama laying in bed. No sleeping whatsoever. Finally, I put Bevin in the Ergo and wore her down. Wearing her while she slept afforded me the chance to help Cole achieve my goal of an early afternoon rest (because I was not optimistic about an actual nap.)

Throughout the two hours that I had spent convincing him that he was tired and should rest, I turned all music off. The house was silent. I know that's how Bevin likes to go to sleep and it turns out that's what worked for Cole too. Because right after his fifth or sixth lunchtime snack (because this kid doesn't believe in eating full meals) he put his head down on the table. I gently suggested that maybe he could take this opportunity to get some rest. It was his idea to go to the couch and lay down. I stood next to the couch and held my breath literally for two minutes. I peeked over and sure enough, he was fast asleep. 

Two kids sleeping during the day at the same time is practically unheard of around here! 

Thanks to babywearing, I could walk freely around the house, blog a little, fold some laundry and just enjoy the silence. 

For two hours they both slept. 

Cole woke up and went back to sleep about six times, changing his position on the couch each time. 

This is what my afternoon looked like..,

Pile of cloth diaper prefolds:

Bevin snoring in the Ergo:

Cole's epic nap:

Random connectedness

Why do I always feel like we're bribing Cole? Keith calls it "persuasive negotiation." Oh you want that? Well you have to do this first. 

Dinner is also always a negotiation. Oh you want more cous cous? Well you've got to eat more carrots and turnips first.

Imagination at work - awesomely fun games with two laundry baskets (I wish I could always keep those empty) and an old dumbbell weight. 

Bevin is pretty strong willed. Her breechiness wouldn't turn when she was in the womb, what makes me think she's going to suddenly like sleeping in the swing or sleeping by herself for that matter?! Gotta keep trying though, says Keith, or else you'll never know if it will one day work. 

Cole does not like to throw things out. He gets upset when we talk about getting rid of something. "No!! Don't throw that old/ratty, broken ____ out! No. No!!" ( goes to garbage can to inspect). 

Just as soon as I wrote on the Internet that Cole doesn't take his jealousy out on his sister, he does. Of course. "Go back to sleep, Bevin!" 

To Keith: "you can play with this giraffe and mommy can play with this giraffe and I can play with this giraffe. But Bevin can't play with this giraffe."  He's also known to give her a toy and then snatch it away from her so quickly she's looking around in consternation. "Mama? Like, what just happened?"

Some fun words he's created. Must write them down before they become a thing of the past....

Fruthie: Fruit+Smoothie

Hanitizer: Hand Sanitizer

Thumbderstorm: Thunderstorm

They found a caterpillar at Anna's school this week and are keeping it in a plastic container with leaves and are going to watch as he makes a cocoon for himself. So the other night Cole said (in bed)"I'm going to wrap myself up like a raccoon!" 

Would you believe I read Blue Hat Green Hat (Sandra Boynton) to him for the first time in maybe a year. Even though he completely forgot the book, he still laughed at the exact same jokes a year later. "Ooops!!" It works every time. 

A recent conversation with a tired Cole:

Mama: "What do you like about being a big brother?"

Cole: "I don't know. It's complicated."

Bevin's first day of day care was a few weeks ago. (She lasted all of 3 hours). Cole proudly carried the cooler of pumped milk to and from the car into Anna's school. When we got there one of his friends pointed to her younger baby brother and said "that's my brother" and Cole turned to Bevin and said "this is my baby sister." I told Anna Bevin liked to be sung to but not what the songs were hoping Cole would fill her in. He totally did. He even brought a musical card he got for Easter that plays the first few lines of "you are my sunshine" to help him remember. 

Some recent things he's said that either broke, melted, or warmed my heart:

"You destroyed my nice time with daddy."

"You're my best buddy, Bevin."

"Clean that mess up Bevin. Clean that drool up!"

"I tell you what. You sit in the rocking chair while I lay down and take a nap. " (Thaat didn't actually happen.)

Then today I tried repeatedly to get him to take a nap, or at least rest.. Lately, he's just a mess by 4 pm and wreaking havoc just when Keith is cooking dinner and I'm trying to nurse the baby or wear her down. It makes for some pretty stressful moments. So we decided enough is enough. He's gotta rest even if he doesn't sleep. I don't know if today is going to be the only day he will ever do this (it's too late, I already posted the pic on Instagram and Facebook), but I had to share because I was dumbfounded when he laid on the couch and fell asleep two minutes later. 

Currently we can't stop complaining

CONSUMED BY the fact that we have two children. We're always talking about it with each other and with anyone else who will listen. It's like we're in quick sand and we just can't get out but mostly everyone else who doesn't have two children thinks we're just strolling through some fields of tall grass. We know because we've been on the other side. If any of our childless friends or friends with one child understands then they are VERY GOOD LISTENERS and bless their hearts for caring that much. It is sometimes so difficult to do something as simple as brush our teeth or form a plan about what we want to do with our day. Someone always needs us. Their voices/screeches are always going in some way, invading our heads and making it difficult to think clearly. We love them, they are wonderful, but they are children and don't understand that we have needs too. Too often, we go neglected. 

DREADING going back to work in September. I know, Summer isn't technically even here yet and I'm already thinking about the fall. But it goes quickly, so it's cause for some dread. 

SINGING "You are my Sunshine" on repeat. Lately it's the only song that will calm Bevin down enough to fall asleep. I sing it when I'm wearing her down and when she's in bed next to me at night. When we went hiking for Cole's birthday a few weeks ago, Cole was having a hard time staying focused on moving. So I decided we should make up stories to help keep his mind off the fact that we weren't at our destination yet (think "are we there yet?" on repeat and then just stopping in the middle of the trail when we aren't). As part of my story I said that one of the characters was going to sing "you are my sunshine."  I started to sing it and Cole sang along and I stopped and it was just about the cutest thing to hear his three year old voice sing "you make me happeee / when skies are gray. You'll never know dear/ how much I yuv you/ so please don't take my sunshine awaaaay."

SHARING all of my time with my kids. Keith has been working a lot this week - and has been spending lots of time away from home. That meant I almost went crazy. 

She just keeps getting cuter

Summertime in the woods

Ever since, I don't know, we realized we were about to kill each other indoors, we took it outside as soon as the weather warmed up. I'm talking late March is when we started hiking for the season. We started as soon as we could because our bodies were starved for exercise. Because my pregnancy with Bevin was EXHAUSTING, we didn't hike as much as we should have last summer. Now that it's almost summer again, the woods are a beautiful place to be and we don't even need a reason to go, we just do. 

We've gone on countless hikes mostly at Minnewaska State Park Preserve and Mohonk Preserve, but we are starting to branch out to the Catskills. 

This weekend, for instance, Keith wants to hike Giant's Ledge for Father's Day. 

My only gripe with the Catskills is that there are lots more bears than in the Gunks. I have a crazy fear a bear will smell my breast milk and attack. Either that or all the snacks we keep in a ziplock in our hiking pack.  But my friend, a climbing and hiking guide, assures me they are well fed this year. 

What I like best about our hikes is that they are all such diverse terrain. It's a lot of fun starting out on a gnarly foot path, walking up an old stream bed and walking down a carriage road all in the same hike. 

Last weekend's hike almost turned out to be a bust because it was a little too tough for us. We discovered that there was no longer a footbridge across  a gushing stream that was blocking the trail. We considered briefly trying to cross the water, which was probably a foot or two deep in some areas, but luckily I talked us out of it. Alone would have been one thing. But with two kids? Dumb idea. So we turned back reluctantly and salvaged the afternoon by going back to the parking lot and taking a different trail to show Cole an awesomely powerful waterfall. It's so weird how he's been on most of these hikes with us already, but it's all new to him now because he is starting to forget the distant past. 

 

The part of the day that made me more than a little proud was when I overheard a man on the trail say "That kid's a better hiker than me!"

Cole examines the wet trail. 

Daddy does his share of babywearing too!

The woods are just a magical, peaceful place for me. 

Cole is "blown away" by the sheer velocity of the waterfall. 

Awosting Falls

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breastfeeding the second time around: Our journey

I know that No one said it would be easy, but, seriously - can't it be? For once?

Of course not. Everyone has their own troubles, so while some may not have had trouble with breastfeeding or sleeping (two areas that are an issue for us), I'm sure there's something else. No one's life is that perfect.

If you've been reading my blog since Cole was born, you know of my troubles with breastfeeding. Basically, for the two years that I nursed Cole I had a lot of issues - cracked nipples, constant clogged ducts, painful milk blisters, low supply, and a few bouts with mastitis. When Cole was 9 months old he started to refuse nursing on my right side. So my left side was over nursed for the next 15 months, but it provided much comfort and nourishment to Cole. Regardless of the troubles, I stuck with it, and I am thankful I did.

The troubles with #2 started much earlier on, within the first few weeks of her life. I won't bore you with the minor details, but it all boiled down to this: Bevin dislikes nursing on my right side (but doesn't downright refuse) and consequently, I felt my supply diminishing. I wound up with a clogged duct that almost became mastitis.  Thankfully, it didn't because of my diligence in fighting it.

To figure out the source of her aversion, I sought a lot of help in the past four months. I went to a breast specialist I've seen in the past to have her examine what I thought was a lump in my breast, thinking perhaps that if I have a lump in there, maybe that's why she doesn't like to nurse. But no, it was normal breast tissue. Definitely not it.

We also paid out of pocket for three lactation consultants and a physical therapist, all of whom came to various conclusions about the cause. I have learned that she is mildly tongue tied, she doesn't have torticolus, her head is no longer asymmetrical and it's not because I have less milk on that side. Essentially, it is NOT because of something that is wrong with her. She is happy, healthy, and thriving.

My family physician did a thorough examination of her yesterday and helped me admit what I didn't want to: she enjoys the flow of the milk better on my left side and therefore, prefers nursing there. And, he said, "There's not much you can do to change that." I know to someone who's reading this, you may think sure there is - but really, I've done everything I can, ten times over, and I've seen three different people who specialize in breastfeeding, none of whom have been able to help me get her loving that side. So what else can I do?

Here's what I will do: enjoy the three months that are left of my maternity leave with my baby and stop worrying about not feeding her enough, because she's getting enough milk and gaining weight like she should be. I'm going to stop worrying so much about my supply and just make sure I don't get clogged ducts by continuing to pump after she's nursed on the right side. What better way to store milk is there then to capture that precious hind milk?

I'm not giving up on my right side, by any means, but I'm going to stop getting flustered and going to stop getting upset when/if she doesn't want to finish nursing there. It's going to have to be a careful balance of energies, I know, but I have faith I can do it.

Wear 'me Wednesday: We go in the Ergo

This week was a fun one. It was the first week in which the majority of the time Keith was out of the house working a commercial job (think rich people talking about policy while touring the Hudson Valley. Boring. Boring. Boring. But beeeaauutiful sunsets at Mohonk). I prepared by buying frozen prepared meals for dinner because, while I feel comfortable chasing Cole around while holding or wearing Bevin, cooking is an entirely different issue. I take way too long in the kitchen to cook with her in the swing or high chair. She'd probably tolerate it for like five minutes and then let me know she has had enough. And I'm a little worried about babywearing and cooking for obvious reasons. Heating up something on the stove or microwave is how I roll when Keith is not home to cook. So when we were not eating leftovers we were eating meals previously housed in a bag. The picture below is of Cole and I eating at the kitchen counter. It was special for him because he loves to stand on our super stool and because we usually eat our meals at our dining room table. We stood because Bevin was asleep and when I babywear and sit, she sometimes wakes up if she's not in a deep sleep. No one wants a cranky baby when they're just sitting down for a hot meal, so we enjoyed our leftover Pot Roast at the counter. 

And even though I heart the Boba big time, Bevin does not share the same feelings towards it. She generally screams when I wear it, although she does eventually fall asleep. I attribute that to the fact that she can't yet see out of it, but her head can pop out if the Ergo a little more. And if she can see, she's a wee bit happier. 

 

 

Three nights in a row

Cole has fallen asleep like this:

When he was an infant I could never take a picture like this because I was always so petrified of waking him up with a flash. Nowadays he falls asleep with the light on. Before I shut it off, I always snap a picture.