Mama brag moment

I just had to brag... We went in for Bevin's well baby visit this morning.

Get this. She gained 2 whole freaking pounds!

At her appointment on Jan. 25 she weighed 6.4 lbs, measured 19 inches and the circumference of her head was 11 inches. (And at her first appointment she was 1 oz away from gaining all of her birth weight back in a matter of five days)

At her appointment today she weighed 8.4 lbs, measured 21 inches, and the circumference of her head was 13 inches.

According to my resident mathematician (SuperDada) her weight gain is a 30% growth increase.

All of my work (nursing round the clock) has paid off!

The visit with the doctor went well. The nurse and the doctor gave me two tips on a breastfeeding problem we've been having. And of course the doctor gave me his shpiel on sleep training, and I just smiled and nodded. While we don't intend on sharing sleep with Bevin for the long haul, we do not intend on sleep training. (stay tuned for a future post on Cole's experience with sleep).  Superdada and I talked about it later and we agreed on one realistic goal for Bevin in the next month or two: to sleep on her back in the bassinet for longer than 5 minutes. 

Currently we're growing strong because we eat ALL our dinner

Cole and Bevin are both growing like weeds. I am finally able to pick the little guy up again and it's like I'm carrying dead weight. Four weeks and it feels like he's gained another 5 lbs. Bevin fits into all of her newborn clothes. We can see little rolls in her thighs and arms and she is now sporting a double chin. I love the idea that my babies have grown because of milk my body made.

Around these parts Mama is currently...
Taking advantage of my baby carriers and whenever she falls asleep while I'm wearing her Cole and I have some quality time together or I try to get something small done around the house.
The other day she took a 3.5 hr nap in the Boba and SuperDadoa and I sorted through Cole's clothes and put away clothes that don't fit him. We finally broke out some 3T clothes!

Giving pumping a really concerted effort. I want to have a good store of milk for emergencies and night feeding. Last night for instance Bevin was too worked up from uncontrollable crying to nurse, so SuperDada gave her a bottle and she promptly passed out.

Teaching myself patience. Going back to the nightly routine with Cole while trying to please a hungry/tired infant is no easy feat.

Learning that my son is more resilient than me. He accepts and understands the presence of a new person in the house while I'm still coping with the fact that I now have two children. SuperDada likens it to joining an even more exclusive parenting "club" because its such a different experience than having one.

Looking at my daughter and still feeling bewildered that my body created her. Life is such a miracle sometimes.

Cole is currently ...
Learning how to fall asleep on his own. I never thought the time would come this soon. Even though circumstances forced it to it still feels like a natural progression of Toddlerhood.

Looking at Bevin's belly during diaper changes. This interest started when I explained to him about the umbilical cord. Ever since then he wants to see her belly whenever I lay her down for a change. He'll stand up on my bed and shout "let me see her beyyey!!" ( he's still working on those "L's"

Taking the high road at bedtime. If I can't finish a story because Bevin is crying he doesn't pitch a fit. He whines, but he seems to understand.

Teaching me patience and the power of forgiveness. Children don't hold grudges and they hold nothing against you. They may have very little patience but they make you realize how much you must have in order to maintain sanity.

Let me see! Let me see! (our recent trip to the Ashokan Resevoir)

All smiles and coos

Trains in the garage

Going so fast!

My how she's grown!

We went to Target and survived

Tuesday was our first trip outside of our little town as a family of 4. We went all the way up to Kingston (insert laugh track here at my use of the phrase "all the way up" when Kingston is a mere 15 minutes away.) Our goal was to get diapers and other necessities at Target with the generous Target gift card we received from my department at work. We also planned to eat at a restaurant and go to the bank. This was definitely the most planned trip (and also the most highly anticipated). It went off without a hitch, really and that was all thanks to our planning, level headed strategizing in the car about where to eat, and our flexibility when a certain someone was hungry or cranky.

We started out with a stroller, but it wasn't too long before I was wearing Bevin in the Boba 3G (my go-to carrier as of late) and pushing all of our coats and bags in the stroller. Like usual we had to pay what SuperDada likes to call Target Tax -wherein we purchase a mandatory toy (but carefully negotiated) for Cole. This is a usual occurrence lately because Target strategically placed the toy aisles near the beginning of the store (this is after their huge remodel they did months ago) so that your toddler is bound to see the toys during the first 5 minutes of your shopping trip. We think of this as a "tax" because its the price we pay for not having a child on the verge of a meltdown because of extreme boredom. We also don't have to distract him with a ton of snacks (thereby spoiling his appetite for the aforementioned restaurant outing). If he gets the toy during the beginning of the shopping excursion he is content to look/play with his new toy while sitting happily in the cart.
Just as we headed for the checkout we realized that we might have a screaming hungry baby letting us know of her unhappiness if I didn't stop to nurse her. So while SuperDada and Cole checked out I sat in the Starbucks cafe of the Target and nursed Bevin.

Wouldn't you know it? While I was nursing her, the labor and delivery nurse who checked me in the night Bevin was born recognized me. I think she wanted me to move the nursing cover to show her Bevin ( her shift ended before Bevin was born) but I did not feel like sharing my boob with Target so I just smiled politely.

We ate at Enzo's where I nursed Bevin without a cover (my first time ever in a restaurant )since the place was practically empty. After lunch Cole had himself a post-apple juice frenzied dance party and then SuperDada and I punctuated the day with joint poopy diaper changes.

My "Hooter Hider" cover

We can't go to Target without stopping for coffee, tea and treats first

Wearing Bevin in the Boba at Best Buy (we didn't actually buy anything there)

Dance Party at Enzo's

Wherein the stroller just becomes another annoying thing we have to push around

Checkout

Working on "parjets"

The other day Cole told me he wanted to work on a parjet. It took me several minutes of trying to understand and Cole repeating himself multiple times before I understood what he meant - art project.

When SuperDada and Cole are not watching movies together, SuperDada has the "adventures" with Cole. He takes him out hiking, to story time, they go shopping together, play in the snow in the backyard. SuperDada can't stand to sit inside for too long.

For indoor fun, when Cole isn't playing with his cars, trains, play dough, or Toy Story action figures, Mama is the planner of fun art projects, especially those we can hang on Cole's Art Wall in our dining room. Cole enjoys making and drawing things. He makes things for me at school and he'll often come home with paper he's colored on to cheer me up (his words!). He even made a special mobile for Bevin with his teacher. If that doesn't show his true love for his sister I don't know what does (oh wait, maybe the fact that every time he walks in the door and I'm NOT holding Bevin, the first thing he wants to know is "Where's Bevin?"

My go-to arts and crafts book is The Toddler's Busy Book. It's filled with lots of creative things to do with every day items. My latest discovery in the book was colored glue as a basis for a collage of images torn from a magazine and items that might otherwise be thrown in the trash. I told Cole to find images of food in the magazines I gave him and then tear the pictures out of the magazine. He tore up a few images completely, but that just added to the fun of the collage.

After the tearing ended, I capitalized on Cole's main love when it comes to arts and crafts - the glue stick. The author of The Toddler's Busy Book, Trish Kuffner, recommends that children try all sorts of glue, so I decided now would be a good time for him to try out Elmer's glue at home. I poured some Elmer's glue in a small stainless steel bowl and let Cole pick two colors (from our set of food colors) to mix and make a glue base. We ended up making purple glue! I gave him a wine cork and we set about stamping glue on a piece of newsprint (we have a gigantic pad of it that we also use to paint on). Then we glued the various items and images onto the collage. I definitely helped in this endeavor because I could tell immediately that Cole kept thinking the glue was paint, because it was colored and because we've actually painted with wine corks before. The author actually recommends using a paintbrush, but I thought the wine cork would be less messy. I think next time, I'll try the paintbrush and call it a glue brush and see how it goes. The author recommends letting the child do everything completely on his/her own, but I felt it was important for him to have guidance the first time around, especially since it was his first time using Elmer's Glue at home and making a collage.

Dipping the cork into the glue

Stamping the glue onto the piece of newsprint

The maker of funny faces.

Love this smile

We forget so easily

It's amazing how we forget so easily that what we are dealing with is nothing new. We've done this before. And here are the pictures comparing the early weeks with Cole and Bevin to prove it.

We forget...

That we burped them

And let them sleep on our chests

And stared at them, wondering "Why on earth won't you sleep?"

Changes

All it takes is one look at my camera roll on my iPhone to see who I've been spending more time with. Bonding - which includes nursing round the clock and babywearing - will do that to a mommy. But, it doesn't mean that I am not constantly thinking about or planning ways to spend quality time with my firstborn. Cole is still my sunshine. I love my son like there is no tomorrow. But some things have changed since Bevin was born almost 3 weeks ago
1) I haven't put Cole to bed since that night I went into labor.
2) I haven't picked Cole up since that night.
3) Cole doesn't follow my directions like he once did.
4) For several nights now, Cole has been sleeping in his converted toddler bed (we took the rail off and put a safety rail up instead) in preparation for the night that SuperDada returns to work and I begin putting Cole to bed again.
5) Cole and SuperDada have a much closer bond since Mama has been spending more time with Bevin nursing her and wearing her (although SuperDada does his share of babywearing).

But some things haven't changed.
1) Cole still likes to help Mama, and Mama loves help from Cole. Just this Sunday, Cole helped Mama make chocolate chip muffins. What Cole loves to do most in this world is bring his stool right up to the counter all the while declaring he's a strong boy. Then he likes to investigate the items on the countertop and do whatever he can to help in the meal making or baking.
2) Cole still loves his baby sister (he loved her when she was in the womb as well). He has not seen her as a usurper (yet) and continues to bestow his unconditional love upon her via kisses, hugs, squeezes, head nudges, and nosies.
3) Cole and Mama still read a book together each night.
4) Cole and Mama still do art "parjets" together and play playdough while SuperDada holds Bevin or while Mama babywears. I've even nursed Bevin and played playdough with Cole. Parenting two children is all about multitasking while maintaining patience. And that patience is key (not that I always have it, but I know its value).

The following should be filed under the title of... "Now THIS is why Mama bought all of those baby carriers."

Since Bevin HATES being put in anything remotely resembling a swing or bouncy seat if she's even kind of half awake, we end up wearing or holding her quite frequently. This means all of the baby items we have around the house are useless. But it also means all of the baby carriers I've purchased or been given in the past are proving to be very useful and worth the money. If it's worth it to buy a $150 swing for the first baby so he can sleep for more than an hour at a time, it's worth it to be a $100 carrier so baby number 2 can sleep for more than five minutes at a time.

SuperDada prefers the Zolowear Sling when he's walking around the house picking things up or sitting at his computer. If we're out and about (which is not often since I am still recovering and have really been laying low these days), SuperDada wears Bevin in the Ergo with the infant insert. When I wear her around the house, I use the Maya Wrap ring sling given to me by Allison. I prefer this because it has good shoulder and upper back padding. It's also slightly easier to adjust then the Zolowear sling. I have also been using our Wrapsody Wrap here and there and have attempted to nurse in it, but have not been completely successful. Bevin falls asleep pretty quickly in the wrap and it feels better on my back then the slings. I've also started using the Boba 3G I bought in the fall of 2011. This is a soft structured carrier that allows you to fold up the lower part of it to make it easy to carry a newborn/young infant. This means it does not ride on my incision like the Ergo would if I wore it. It's super easy to put on and fasten and the best part about it is that Bevin falls asleep instantly. On Sunday, she was exhausted and cranky and would not fall asleep for very long no matter what I tried. Finally, I tried the Boba and she was sleeping within seconds. No. Joke.

Bevin in the Boba 3G

Babywearing while dance partying with a toddler

Bevin in the Wrapsody

Lulling her to sleep

Helping Mama - chocolate chip muffins!

Update from our "baby moon"

This is my happy place.

Parenting a newborn the second time around is so different. There is a sense of calm that wasn't there before. There is a sense of confidence that whatever challenges you face, you know you will get through them alive and a better parent.

Of course there are moments, even whole days when it feels like whatever you do it's just not quite right. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be the mother I want to be to both my children at the same time. But who among us is that perfect? You just have to strive to be better the next moment or the next day because children are resilient and they bounce back from your mistakes faster than you do.

My incision is healing well so far, although the itchiness is enough to drive me up the wall! I haven't been doing much in terms of strenuous activity. Dada takes care of the chores and cooking and pretty much everything else in the house. I might start to call him SuperDada.

Speaking of SuperDada, I've been handing over Bevin to him for the past few mornings, so I can spend some quality time with Cole. Bevin sleeps soundly in the sling for an hour or two while SuperDada works on the computer, and Cole and I can play together. We even made lunch together Tuesday (not that was a good enough reason for him to actually finish his lunch).

Babywearing has been going amazingly well. Unlike Cole, she loves to be worn. She sleeps like a champ when she's in the sling or the Ergo (which SuperDada wears). I wear her in the sling only because the soft structured carriers would hurt my incision. I would have tried the Moby wrap Tuesday, but upon checking the instructions on the website, it says the wrap is for babies 8-35 lbs. Bevin is definitely not 8lbs yet, although I would venture to say she's at least 7 lbs now. She's definitely filling out and fitting into more newborn clothes. She nurses and poops more than enough so I know she's trying to bulk up.  I do have another wrap (the Wrapsody) but it's not that stretchy and I'm not crazy about it. I may try it out of desperation anyway, since the sling hurts my back - although it does a great job of keeping her high on my chest and not touching my abdomen at all.

Nursing has been going well. I have a good supply going. I've been trying to pump (with my new Ameda Purely Yours pump) in the morning at least every other day. I found myself explaining to Cole the ins and outs of pumping and then watching in horror as he tried to turn the dials on my pump. Not cool, little guy, not cool!! Bevin won't take a bottle just yet, but we aren't giving up. When she finally does, SuperDada will take over one nightime feeding so Mama can get some rest. Sleep has not been happening for me. Bevin prefers to sleep in the crook of my arm or SuperDada's arm most nights.

Bevin's happy place.

Keith calls this "Baby on the man-boob"  hold (actually, I had to censor his original name for this hold. This is my edited version.)

Sound asleep in the Fisher Price Rocker. She's a side and belly sleeper. HATES the back. 

Love me some baby wearing!

After our post partum appointment we found ourselves in the Rhinebeck health food store cafe. This is the Ergo I bought on Baby Steals and the infant insert that Lori lent me.

Cole really loves his baby sister