Not Your Average Ferris Wheel: A How-To: Bedtime Routine with 2

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A How-To: Bedtime Routine with 2

Before Bevin was born, I kept coming back to the same question that I couldn't answer until after she was born:

How do I put my toddler to sleep with a newborn?

The answer I finally came upon? You just do.

Before SuperDada returned to work, he wanted me to do a trial run. But I kept coming back to this - how am I going to learn anything if I have a safety net (i.e. him sitting in the room next door). I just had to do it. It was either sink or swim. Just throw me to the wolves. Whatever idiom you choose, it's what I knew I must do to learn. After all, I didn't become the teacher I am today by starting at a nice suburban district (although it's where I ended up). No, I started at an urban middle school where I had a pencil thrown at my head and a student who once threatened to piss on my desk, among other disturbing and (sometimes) amusing things. For me, it was the best way to learn how to successfully manage a classroom.

During the past few weeks since my husband has gone back to work, I've managed to learn a few things that might help you if you ever find yourself putting your toddler to sleep while also having to take care of your newborn or infant.

Lessons for putting your toddler to sleep while nursing/soothing/holding/wearing your newborn

#1. Never miss the toddler's sleep window. Not even to nurse the baby (see Lesson #2). If you miss the sleep window, you might end up three hours later wondering if your toddler will ever go to sleep and if your newborn will ever forgive you for patting her butt for two hours straight.

#2. Be good at multi-tasking. Obviously, as parents we have become experts in multi-tasking. But this is actually a serious kind of multi-tasking - one that requires great skill and patience. You must be able to feed the baby or soothe the baby while giving your toddler a bath, or while reading books to the toddler. You must be able to change the baby's diaper while making sure the wound up toddler doesn't fall off your bed from bouncing. Let's not even get started on what you will have to do when you start bathing the newborn at the same time you bathe the toddler!

#3. Tolerate some crying. What do you do with the baby when it's time to put on the toddler's jammies, or change his dirty diaper (yes, we're still doing that around these parts)? It's a piece of cake if she's sleeping, but what if she's awake and refuses to be worn or cries hysterically when you put her in the bouncy? You let her cry for a few minutes in the bouncy (or in the carrier) and get through whatever task you have to get through as fast as you can, all the while trying to maintain calm in the face of her hysterics. Don't worry - the toddler will ignore it if you do.

#4 Always keep your baby gear strategically placed throughout your house or apartment. For example, I keep a bouncy and a nursing pillow stashed in the bathroom for use during bathtime. Our bathroom is tiny but it's worth it - I mean who wants to lug a bouncy from room to room every night? I also keep another bouncy and another nursing pillow in Cole's room. Now, I'm sure you're thinking right about now - but I don't have TWO bouncy seats. I have an easy solution for you. Buy another one. Get it used on Craigslist or see if your area has a FreeCycle or Swap and Sell. And again - who has two nursing pillows? (Actually, I have four). Get them used, from a friend (like I got my extra Brest Friend) or just make sure you have extra pillows. Period.
You will need them.

#5 Sleep. When the toddler goes to sleep AND the baby go to sleep, you MUST go. to. sleep. Don't stay up checking Facebook, reading blogs, writing on your own blog, or watching television waiting up for your hubby. You will live to regret it.

#6 Don't try to time everything. You'll drive yourself crazy. The newborn is constantly changing, so trying to time a nap with bathtime is just going to end up in an epic fail. She's going to wake up. It's how things work. Don't try to control it. Let them be.