The Three year old: A walking contradiction

Lately I've been reading this word on the blogosphere: threenager. Now I'm not sure if this is a newly created word or has been around for ages, mostly in part because I only started reading about other 3-year-olds when Cole turned 3. But I can tell you that it is the TRUTH. One of the things I have noticed about teenagers is that they contradict themselves a lot, mostly because they are trying to fit in. Why a 3-year-old contradicts himself is probably for similar reasons- he's trying to find his place in the works. He knows he needs/wants something but isn't quite sure it's the thing he needs/wants, so he changed his mind in the same sentence.  

Here are some real conversations we've had. 

I have to pee. 

Okay so pee. 

But I don't HAVE to peeeeeeeeee!

I want to give this motorcycle (toy) away to somebody. 

Okay. Who do you want to give it away to?

Nooooo! I don't want to give it away. No, don't give it away!

I have to peepoop. 

You have to pee and poop?

Nooooo!!! I don't have to pee OR poop!!

Then why did you say you had to peepoop?

I didn't say that. 

Cole yawns. 

Are you tired?

I'm NOOOOT tired. 

Rubs eyes. 

I just peed and pooped. 

Really? Did you wipe?

Yes. I pooped and I wiped.

So I'm going to see poop in the toilet if I go and check?

I peed and I pooped and I flushed (this trifecta almost NEVER happens)

Really? You did all three? I should check then to make sure you wiped. 

I just peed. (Maybe this should be filed under: LIES LIKE A TEENAGER)

I'm sure I could give you a thousand (seriously) more examples, but I have to pee. No, wait. I don't HAVE to pee! Just come to the toilet with me so I can show you how much I don't have to pee. Oh, okay, I guess I had to pee. 

This picture was taken exactly 15 minutes after he told me he was not tired....

4 Camping Trips. 3 States. Phew.

Now that our camping season is unofficially over - we may try to squeeze one last one in October - Cole is asking us when we're going camping next. We just had to go camping FOUR times in order for him to get warmed up to the idea. It didn't hurt that he made a friend along the way.  I am pretty proud of us for doing this. When we focus on something, we go all the way. Like when we were hiking in the spring time, we went like every week, sometimes twice a week. Then the heat and the humidity hit and we switched gears and focused our energies on relaxing and living outdoors instead of exercising outdoors. We were lucky in that the weeks we picked to go camping were not overrun by the heat, although there were a couple days where we were thanking our lucky stars we picked sites in the shade.

We completed two trips to the mountains that were two nights each - at Lake Taghkanic and Mongaup Pond (both in NY). And we accomplished camping near the beach for four nights in Rhode Island and at the beach for three nights in Connecticut. Each camping trip was started the day after the kids were in daycare, so we spent four day care days preparing, strategizing and packing. We spent countless other hours before each camping trip, shopping, meal planning and packing and re-packing. A lot of the packing credit goes to Keith, who packed and repacked the trailer until he got it just right. We also made a good investment in a portable potty for the trailer so that we didn't have to leave the camper at night. We did this after Allison told us about something she bought called a Luggable Loo. We tried a cheapened version of that in the form of a sheetrocking bucket for the second trip and I was gagging by the morning. It was then that we knew we had to buy something.

It looks something like this...

Having this thing made it easier to get up at night and not wake the baby. If I'm gone for too long, she starts to notice and that wakes her up. Plus, if Cole had to wake up and walk outside to the bathroom every night, he'd probably wake up too. No rest for the weary. It was a very necessary and smart purchase. I'm glad we did it.

Something else I'm proud of us for is for not putting up with noisy neighbors. We stopped suffering  and called the park police on two different trips. In the past, when we've been woken up by loud drunk people who think their campsite is like their living room, we've always sucked it up and not complained, especially since the noise never seemed to bother Cole. This time, camping with two children made us realize we needed to do something about it, since we needed all the sleep we could get. And on the second trip, even Cole could not fall asleep with the thumping of the loud music being played. Coincidentally enough we only encountered noisy neighbors on our trips to the beach. Why do people get so wasted at the beach? Something about beer and the ocean, I guess.

We learned that camping with friends who also have a child or children makes camping so much easier and so much fun. With that in mind, we're going to try to plan more trips with friends (than without) next summer. A trip with Allishawn is in the works, though Shawn can't do more than two nights. He's just not an outdoorsy kind of guy. We'll just stick around for another two or three nights.

We discovered some amazing campgrounds and plan to return to three of them next year. We loved Lake Taughkanic, Mongaup Pond and Hammonassett Beach. We didn't love Burlingame. The beaches were beautiful and the campground was okay, but we just didn't get that tingly feeling like we HAVE to return there next year. A big negative was that if you weren't close to the big bathrooms, which weren't that many, you were stuck going to a Port-a-John.  We were there for 3 days before they emptied the one closest to us. Talk about smelly.


Below are some of my favorite shots by my talented husband...

Lake Taughkanic...

Sleepy heads. (this was obviously taken by me)

We tried for a group shot. Don't know if we succeeded.

This is how Cole says cheese when he's not in the mood to say cheese.

Playing.

This was the morning of our departure.

Story hour

Mongaup Pond...

Go away duck! Go away!

Burlingame...

First encounter with the Beluga Whale.

Hammonassett Beach...

Meigs Point

On the breakwater

Tackling the ocean

Cole and his new friend read Cookies Week.

My babies.

Seven Months: Bevin Jean

My seven-month old. My daughter. Most mornings, when she wakes up with a perma grin, I lie my head on the mattress next to her and shower her with kisses, tell her how much I love her, and am grateful for the chance to raise a daughter.

She's growing so much and in so many ways. It's hard to keep track.

She smiles at everybody. So much that people say "She's such a good baby! I bet she never cries!"
When she gets extra happy she whacks her arms against her chest and legs while smiling. She'll go farther and laugh if you a) are Cole  b) tickle her feet   c) change her diaper   d) tickle her belly.

She's sitting up on her own for longer and longer periods. Since she was 3 or 4 months she has been able to pull her head up if she's lying down to watch whatever entertaining event is happening in the room (usually Cole running, jumping, screaming or talking). She can lift her head higher and higher and for longer periods of time as she practices this skill.

She can get on her hands and knees, and she's moved backwards a little to crawl, but no forward movement. And that is FINE! Keep sitting, kid! I'm enjoying a sitting baby. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, she easily flips herself over to being on her belly and back again. Last night, she flipped over and started to practice crawling and I just about cried. But then she gave up and went back to nursing. When she's leaning on one of us or the Boppy pillow, she often arches her back so she can move down and OFF the pillow or us. It's like she wants to be on her own and moving, but she doesn't quite know what to do once she's not leaning on something or someone anymore. At that point she's crying or grunting in frustration.

She is trying to talk! She's got lots of sounds, but one that is really discernible is the "Immmmmm" that she's been making. "Immmaaaammmm." Keith and I are convinced she's trying to say "Mama." It just warms my heart and it makes total sense. She's usually saying the "Immmm" sound when she's not in my arms and she wants me (which is usually the case if she's not in my arms and she's tired, hungry or just missing me).

She has started solids. I decided that we'd try Baby Led Weaning instead of spoon feeding her homemade purees like we did with Cole. It's right up her alley, since she's been trying to take my plate and food off my plate since she was around 4 or 5 months old.  She mostly eats from my plate, but we'll also put her in the (space saver) high chair, which she doesn't love, and give her food there. I follow the philosophy that food before one is for fun and that she'll let me know how much and if she wants to eat. I like this way of feeding her because it requires very little preparation and it's exactly what she wants. I don't like this way of feeding because it freaks me out. I am nervous about her choking so I'm watching her like a hawk, barely eating my own meal. She gags a lot, and sometimes vomits her milk (and sometimes the food), but afterward she recovers easily and quickly and wants to dive into my plate for more. I have calmed down a bit, especially after writing the author of the book, Baby Led Weaning, (and getting an awesomly informative and reassuring response!) and signing up for an infant CPR and choking class (happening tonight), but it's still a balancing act. I have to balance my trust in the process that she will gag and spit it back out if the food is too big or too much for her and she will swallow it if it's the right size. There's also the little voice inside my head that thinks of all those other babies who are eating purees and getting way more nutrients because of the fact that they are probably eating more, but she is getting her breastmilk and that is enough for the first year. I must remind myself that now is for tasting all sorts of foods (not as paranoid about allergies this time around) and for exploring the textures and sizes of the food. I love watching her succeed at picking up something and placing it in her mouth or coming up with an alernative if it's too slippery. It's also interesting to watch her grunt in frustration, arch her back like she's given up and wants out, and then go back suddenly determined to get a hold of the food in front of her.

She watches other babies and children intently, often enamored by their antics, cries, and movements. She's around other children quite often, since we've met a number of friends for playdates or just hangouts throughout the summer. And then of course, there's #1 - Cole. He can do no wrong in her eyes. All he has to do is jump up and down while I'm holding her trying to tap her arm and she is cracking up laughing!

She has started to feel seperation anxiety. When we drop her off on her daycare day, she knows what's happening, her eyes get glassy and she starts to cry. At home, when I leave the room and she wasn't ready to be away from me, she cries for me, even if Daddy is holding her. Of course, knowing this has made me feel pretty sad about having to return to work in two weeks. And guilty. I spent all of this quality time with her for 7 months and then I'm just going to leave and go back to work? It's going to be hard. I know I'm not doing anything wrong by society's standards, but by hers, I am. She's going to miss me, she's going to cry for me, but she will get over it eventually and she'll adjust to her new way of life. Daddy at home during the day, Mommy in the afternoons and evenings. September will be hard, but hopefully October will be easier and November even easier or at least happier (because easier isn't always possible in the first year).

Cool things she's done in the past three months (in no particular order):
-Gone on 4 camping trips in 3 states
-Went to the Mid-Hudson Children's Museum
-Went to the Mystic Aquarium
-visited family in LI
-was blessed by the officiant who married Keith and I and who blessed Cole
-started day care
-learned how to drink out of the bottle (she'll even take one from me now!)
-started eating solid food

Pictures from the past three months...

Meeting cousin Damien for the first time

First camping trip at Lake Taghkanic. We match.

Sunset at Hammonasset Beach.

Her eyes are so beautiful and clear, you can see the sun set in them.

Watching cousin Emmie

Happy Happy Girl

Currently we are singing the praises of Connecticut

Who knew Connecticut was so beautiful? We now know this simple little fact. Most of Connecticut's shores border Long Island Sound. Hammonasset Beach State Park is two miles of that shore.  Camping near the beach has been refreshing. Though we hear the sounds of I-95 from our trailer instead of the soothing sounds of waves crashing against the shore, being in the close vicinity of the beach is the advantage and it has allowed us to do something we haven't done in years- take sunset walks to the beach with both kids three nights in a row.

So we are currently...

 sharing the beach at sunset with our children. This is something we used to do regularly when we'd summer in Cape Cod before children. Now we've finally figured out how to time it so that we are done with dinner by 6 and walking to the beach by 7. Rhode Island was great and all but the beach was a 15 minute drive!

Spending time outdoors with our children. Despite our loud, obnoxious neighbors across from us and our fire obsessed neighbors next to us, we've been enjoying our sweet shady spot at this campground of mostly exposed sites. 

Saving the numbers of sites that we plan to try to book for next year. Although we are enjoying the shade, our site is tiny and we found some sites on the other side of the campground that are closer to the beach, much bigger in size that even boast some shade. 

Going for a drive instead of staying at the beach. We had one beach day that was a complete disaster. No naps for both kids meant crank city. We had to breakdown our beach fort and head for the hills. Both kids were passed out within minutes and we got to drink caffeine and explore the two neighboring towns. 

Speaking in hushed tones about the crazy neighbors. Seriously. They had about 6-8 adults and 14 kids. Three sites. Directly across from us. However, even if we had screamed to each other, they wouldn't have heard us. What with all the spontaneous karaoke and clapping at 10:30 at night. That was definitely not us who called the park police. No sir. 

Cole is currently ...

Saving his pee and poop to the very. Last. Minute. No fun. No fun at all. Especially not when the other parent is no where to be seen (some people like to go to the potty in privacy, Geez!!) and you have the baby to carry along. Well. She's seen just about everything. Hopefully she's a good little bathroom goer when it's her turn. Hopefully she isn't taking notes on all of his trickery. "Are you sure you don't have to pee?" "No! I'm not sure!" "What? You have to pee?" "No!! I don't have to pee!!!"  (Parent's head spins.)

Sharing none of his toys. "That's my toy!" is a regularly uttered phrase around here. And she's only 6 months old. Oh boy. 

Spending time with his new friend. Remember those crazy camping neighbors? Yeah well, they had a 5-year-old in their midst and she was so sweet and friendly that Cole was just about losing his marbles by the last day when he didn't see her at all in the morning and her bicycle was still on our site! Gasp! Anyway, the two were so cute together. We got to watch Cole be his intense self with another child. "Why are you wearing your helmet?" "Because I want to." "Take your helmet off!" "No! I don't have to!" "Please take your helmet off!!" Over and over until she threatened to leave our site if he didn't stop pressuring her. Finally I intervened and told him in plain language what would happen if he continued. He said "Put my helmet on, Mama." We also got to watch him "read" her books (even though she totally offered to actually read to him. But no. That's not Cole's style. No one's going to one up him!

Speaking in tongue or not speaking at all. Instead he'll do a hum yelling or speak so quickly we have absolutely no idea what he is saying. I attribute most of this to jealousy and some as just his age. A lot of the speaking in tongues is him rhyming, making up words or names. But some of it is in direct imitation of Bevin or reaction to attention she is getting that he is not. 

Going on a nature hike with Mama on the beach. He had so much fun, he didn't want to go back to Daddy and Bevin. 

Cole wants to nap in the tent, but he just can't get comfortable. 

Napping in the car, however uncomfortable it looks, is never a problem, though. (Thank God for that)

Keith actually pushed this thing onto the beach. Don't ask me how. 

Also known as Mama camp hair...( yes we buy her $20 organic teething pads and all she does is chew on the straps. And yes that is a new carrier. The Ergo performance to be exact)

Keith's iPhone pic of one of the gorgeous sunsets. 

Wood/fire obsessed neighbors. Seriously. Who needs that much wood?

Post Starbucks on our caffeinated drive...

Yes. I'm the cutie who tried twice to wake up my brother very early the last morning!

Why we camp

We've gone on 3 camping trips so far this summer and they've all been fun in their own unique ways. My neighbor recently asked me why we go through all of the trouble, especially since camping is so much work. And with two kids? Double the work. Double the stress.

Here's why:

We camp because it gets all of us outside - regardless of the weather. No excuses. We camp because if we stayed home, we'd be more likely to stay inside and probably go stir crazy. We camp because we have a pop-up trailer and a truck to tow the trailer. So, it follows that we must use said trailer and truck so it does not go to waste. We camp because it's an affordable vacation that we can do multiple times in one summer. Not a bad way to celebrate a more flexible schedule and nice weather either. Finally, we camp because there are some beautiful lucid moments out of all the challenging ones. Where the outcome of all our work is abundantly clear: a beautiful beach, a quiet moment on a lake, a fun moment around the campfire where one child is telling hilarious stories and the other is listening with rapture. Those moments. They make all the advance preparation and strategizing worth it.

I'm not saying we don't have other (many more) moments where we think to ourselves (or find ourselves whining out loud) why do we go through all of this trouble?  The first day and last day of each camping trip is always the hardest because of the set up, coupled with our exhaustion and the reaction of the children to the complete change of scenery. (Read: Cole actually screamed at the top of his lungs for about 10 minutes when we first arrived at our site in Rhode Island). Plus with the last three camping trips, Cole wasn't exactly excited about any of them (except of course with the first one, but that was ONLY because he knew he'd get to play with Juni the whole time). But our final upcoming camping trip (happening tomorrow) is actually a cause for genuine enthusiasm in our little boy. He's excited, and probably because he now knows what to expect of camping, and has started to actually enjoy the ocean beach. Not only that, but after sharing a bunk for three trips, we finally decided to give him his own little bunk in the form of the dinette (that transforms into a bed) next to our family bunk. We let him play on it on the last day of Rhode Island and that got him psyched that next time, it'll be his to sleep on.

Some pictures to illustrate why we camp:

Mongaup Pond (this place is just so magical)

With two kids, you can never quite get a perfect family photo

This little girl gets a huge kick out of her big bro.

Beach bums!

"I Yuv you Daddy."

We LOVE campfires

In the trailer, early morning.

Daddy about to get in on Cole's sweet photo - and MOON the camera. 

Don't mind the crazed look on my face, I was actually having a good time.

Juni and Cole inspect a fluttering dying moth in the Rec Hall during a rainstorm.

Moi? Reading? Definitely a rarity these days, but made possible by Bevin's nap.

Cole has fun at the shore

This kid had a blast!

Our enormous sunshade that is absolutely necessary!