Currently we are dreaming about hiking season

We went for our first real hike of the season a few weekends ago. We hiked to Bonticou Crag. For those of you who are unfamiliar it is a small summit that can be reached via a very steep rock scramble or a roundabout ascent up some gnarly foot trails. Friends, this is 6 mile round trip hike. And Cole rocked that shit. He hiked on his own most of the way, complained very little and only asked to be carried on the last leg of the hike back to the car. The next weekend we went to our favorite waterfall in the Gunks- Split Rock. We went on an easy hike, and Keith took some awesome pictures - a great family portrait and a few beautiful pictures of Cole. I loved the family portrait so much that Randalin made it my about picture and Keith had it made into a metallic print that we mounted on our living room wall. It was definitely a perfect birthday present. Oh yeah- currently? I'm no longer 35. Normally growing older doesn't bother me, but 4 years from 40? That's a little hard for me to digest.

So, we are now dreaming up all of the awesome hikes we're going to take from now through September. We have been hiking with Cole since he was a wee lad, and though he may not remember much of it, his leg muscles certainly do. He was such a good hiker that he told us to go ahead of him so he could hike on his own. He listened to our direction most of the time and talked and talked. He had our full attention since Bevin slept through each hike. The cutest part about the hikes was when he would take his imaginary whistle out of his hat and "whistle" (by placing two fingers in his mouth) to let Keith know he wanted him to slow down.

Currently we are eating the meals from a weekly menu that I have been creating. We found that we were spending so much and were so discombobulated when winging it. I mean who wouldn't get stressed if you were deciding what's for dinner right before dinner time or that morning. We've been consistently making the weekly menu for about a month now, and I can't imagine our lives without it. It has been so helpful in terms of less money spent and less food wasted. And each day we are not scrambling and stressing about what's for dinner. It's not a perfect system though. Monday night Keith realized we didn't have lentils. When making the shopping list I had forgotten to check for them. Ooops!! Luckily we have awesome neighbors. If not, I totally would have been in the doghouse.

We are drinking tea from the bag and cold pressed coffee. I bought several boxes of my favorite black tea (tazo) during our last Target shopping trip so that has been my treat every morning. Keith decided it would be a good idea to make cold pressed coffee since the weather is nicer and the cold pressed coffee is less acidic. It's definitely yummy and a little easier on my tummy if I have a cup. But I prefer my tea. I'll never forget my first trimester of pregnancy with Bevin when my favorite tea tasted like water from an ash tray and I thought I might never be able to drink it again.

We are wishing we had time for all the things we'd like to do to make our house more organized and operate more efficiently. For instance, it was taking forever to find a simple serving spoon in our large utensil drawer. I realized we had something like 4 spatulas and when we took the silicone off the spatula handle found it was full of mold! Gross! In the garbage they went. Now we have one spatula and don't have to dig around looking for others.

We are loving what we have done for the house so far. One productive morning I reorganized two hall closets and got rid of curtains, blankets, and towels we haven't used for years. I may not have finished the book Clutter's Last Stand, but the main idea (that storing stuff you don't everuse -but might someday- wastes money and energy) has totally stuck with me.
Also, Keith hung a wall mounted coat rack at Cole's level so that our little man can hang up his own coats and jackets on his own. Because when your toddler discards his coat in the middle of the kitchen floor and tells YOU to hang it up, you know it's time he learns to do it on his own. Finally, after I asked Keith to get me some hooks and hang them in our room to hold all of my beloved baby carriers he made me my very own baby carrier holder. So beautiful yet so simple.

Cole is currently...
Enjoying (I wouldn't say loving) the Aveeno oatmeal baths I've been giving him this week. It's a nice change from the norm for him so he's more agreeable to bathtime. The real reason he's been bathing in the Aveeno is because he has a strange rash that, according to the doctor is nothing for us to worry about.

Cole is currently wishing he could put his diaper back on, but we've been daytime potty training since Friday and there is no going back. I don't want to say more because you know what happens when you tell the Internet something...

Cole is dreaming of returning to Duck Pond, a hike he's gone on before (but in carriers), but didn't remember. It's a short hike -about two miles (out and back)- and the destination is well worth some of the thigh burning ascent. Cole was in this Zen- like state the entire time we were at the pond. We stayed a while and Cole found so much peace in just pushing a stick back and forth across the water. When it was time to leave he said "I don't want to go home. I want to stay here forever and ever and ever."

The naming

The process...
When she was born, her name was a surprise to everyone else but SuperDada and I. How we managed that, I don't know. But we did. We named her the week we found out she was a girl and the week after my grandmother died. We kept it a secret for the next five months.

My grandmother's name was Beverly.  When I was growing up, she was the closest thing to a mother I had.  When she died on August 9 it was rather unexpected since they had only discovered the cancer the week prior. They told us it was terminal, but no one expected her health to decline so rapidly. On the day of her funeral I learned that one of my genetic blood tests showed some abnormalities and the chances if my baby having down syndrome had increased. That week, we went in for an ultrasound to look for any markers, which, obviously, they didn't find. That same ultrasound tech told us what I already knew- that she was a girl. We talked about names for about a week and decided upon Bevin Jean.

The reasons (if it isn't obvious already)...
Bevin - to honor my grandmother, who was mostly called Bev by friends and relatives. I will never forget the impact my grandmother has had on my life. Her mothering of me is what has helped me become the mother I am today. After all, I didn't have a role model in my own mother. So, in honor of my loving grandmother, Bevin's family nickname is Bev.

Jean - my middle name and the middle name of my mother-in-law. It also is the middle name of my mother and my mother's mother, but I didn't give her my middle name in honor of them. They did not deserve that honor. My mother's mother was a terrible and unloving mother to her daughter. And the apple did not fall far from the tree when it came to my own mother. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, is amazing. I am lucky to have her, and I tell SuperDada that he is lucky he has her. He tells me "We can share her." So, we do.

The name that starts with the letter "B"
One thing that my grandmother and I shared that was really special was a name that started with the letter "B". Most of the jewelry she owned revolved around that one special initial. When Cole and I practice letters we always talk about Bevin's name starting with a "B".

Bevin and I also have the same initials (BJF). Growing up my grandmother and I also shared the same initials (BJS).  It was a connection that made me feel special. I hope my daughter does too.

Bevin's birth story

Originally, we decided upon Bevin's birthday. It was supposed to be Jan. 24.

But, as always, with our baby girl, she had other plans.

9 p.m.
Labor started in the late evening hours of Saturday Jan. 19, one day after SuperDada's 36th birthday.
I had been putting Cole to bed for over 2 hours, an event that left me exhausted and slightly impatient. The last half hour consisted of me reading one final book and holding him as he drifted off to sleep. As this was happening, I started to notice that the contractions I'd been feeling all day were getting more intense. And more regular. I began to time the contractions while holding a sleeping Cole. Finally, after a half hour of this, I determined that they were about 6-7 minutes apart and they were steady. I slowly lifted all 30 pounds of Cole and placed him down gently over the cribs rails and onto his mattress. Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever do that. I crept out of his room and walked down the hall to tell SuperDada about the contractions.

10 p.m.
I decided to make myself a meal, since we had had a really late lunch and didn't make a dinner for us (only for Cole). I made breakfast for dinner - cereal and a bialy (my favorite snack of this pregnancy). I caught up on Bloglovin' and ignored the contractions. Then I went into bed and started noticing them again. SuperDada fell asleep, and I began timing them using a contraction timer on my iPhone. This time, I noticed they were 4-5 minutes apart. I also couldn't sleep through them. I woke SuperDada and he recommended I call our doula. Upon calling her, she wanted to know if I had called the doctor.

So I called the doctor on call. For the first few moments of our conversation I could tell he didn't remember who I was. He was asking if I was GBS positive or negative, and he was asking if this was my first or second child. It was obvious he didn't know remember my story. So finally I filled him in. "She's breech," I said simply. He drew in a sharp breath as he realized who I was.

I reminded him that I have an irritable uterus and was worried that this could just be false labor. Even though he initially said I should go to the birth center, he also suggested three things: drink lots of water, take a shower, and try to sleep. I drank 2 to 3 pints of water and took a shower. During my shower, which was eight minutes, I had four very intense contractions. I got out of the shower and as Keith peered in to see how I was, I told him that we needed to head to the birth center. I asked him to call the doctor.

And it was during my shower that Keith had called Grandma and told her to pack her bag. After the shower he called her back and confirmed that we needed her to come as soon as possible. As usual, Keith was on top of everything. He called our neighbor and asked her to come by and stay in the house with Cole until Grandma arrived. She was glad to be of help. (Back before we knew Bevin was breech for the long haul, we had asked her if we could count on her to stay with Cole in the middle of the night). She came by shortly thereafter with a book in hand and an extremely excited look on her face.

Since it was so cold outside I wasn't sure how to dress. I knew my contractions were going to be intense in the car ride, so I wanted to be comfortable, but I also wanted to be warm since it was below freezing outside. I put my long black Gap body skirt on with wool socks and Merrill clogs. I wore a long sleeve baggy maternity shirt and my Burton sweatshirt. I probably looked a little like a gypsy as I placed my winter hat on my head and wrapped my wool scarf around my neck, grabbed my bag and Bevin's bag, which SuperDada packed immediately into the CRV he had warming up in the driveway.

11:30 p.m.
Off we went. I called the doctor again from the driveway, since he had called us back and I had missed the call. We told him how long it would take us because Keith tends to speed, and he told us not to rush. I'm sure Keith did anyway, as I made my way through some very intense contractions throughout the car ride. I also called the doula and told her we were on our way. But instead of telling me she'd meet us there, she told me to call her when I got there. I tried to make it clear that this was it, but it just didn't seem like she got that.

Thirty minutes later, at the birth center, we got "checked" in by the nurse on duty. She was kind of nice, kind of awkward, kind of snotty. A very weird mixture of a person, but that was her. She hooked me up to the most annoying monitor - the contraction monitor and the monitor that listens to the baby's heartbeat. Now what happened during this time and the time that the doctor arrived is kind of a blur. I do remember this: being in tons of pain every few minutes, getting hooked up to an IV, going to the bathroom, feeling the sharp intense pain of the contractions.

Finally, the nurse checked me to see if I was very dilated. I was convinced I was, but I was 1 cm.  The day before though? I had seen my Ob and was just a little effaced, so clearly, I was in labor. Just a very slow and painful one.

I called the doula to fill her in. When I told her how dilated I was and that the doctor was on his way, she told me to call her back when he got there.

The doctor came in shortly after and the nurse filled him in. He leaned back against the counter and asked us excitedly, "So are you ready to have a baby tonight?"

It was at this moment that I was overwhelmed with emotions. I remember nervously looking at Keith, who looked at me. There were so many things I had planned. Luckily, I had my birth "plan" with me and he agreed to delay cord clamping, which was important to me. It was one of the reasons I scheduled it with the other doctor, since he usually performs "natural" cesarean births. (The doula wouldn't be allowed in to the OR during the delivery, but they might let her in when Keith went with the baby to the nursery to get weighed.)

But the feeling that I keep coming back to when I think back to that particular moment - when the doctor asked if we were ready - is one of pure joy. I was going to meet my baby girl. In just a matter of an hour and a half, she would be born. I would finally be able to see her, feel her, hold her. Love her.

1 a.m.
So I called the doula again to let her know. As I mentioned already on my blog, I wanted her to be there for the birth, regardless of the type of delivery because I wanted that extra support. And she had agreed to be there on the day of the scheduled delivery, even if she wouldn't be allowed in the operating room. But when it came down to it? She flaked out. Instead of saying, "I'll be there as soon as I can," she asked instead: "Do you want me to come?" That is essentially the equivalent of saying "I really don't want to come, but if you really want me to I will." Keith was so pissed that she was equivocating on something she had already agreed to do. Deep down, I knew the reason  - she didn't want to come out in the middle of the night for just a surgical delivery. And me being the type of person who doesn't like to put others out, I told her that "I guess not" and she said she'd stop by the next morning. It made me feel a little lousy that she didn't want to be there(especially since she had tried to talk me into doing the vaginal breech birth), but I let it go. I had bigger things to think about.

So for the next hour, Keith helped me through the contractions - helping me change positions, rubbing my back and talking to me. His actions made me realize this: I never needed the doula in the first place. My husband was an awesome coach. And as well he should be. He's done it before.

2 a.m.
By the time I started walking to the operating room the contractions were coming every two minutes. The part I remember most was my anxiety. I was so nervous, I was literally shaking. Not nervous to meet my daughter, but nervous to receive anesthesia and nervous to be cut open. This was the part I was dreading the most. It was where my fear lived - in the leading up of the surgery. It was this anxiety that made me realize how glad I was that Bevin had decided to come earlier. I'm sure I would've spent the next four days as a nervous wreck of a person.

They gave me the spinal during a contraction and Keith took pictures of me from the doorway. He came in and talked to the anesthesiologist, who told him he'd let him know just when he could take pictures of her birth. The anesthesiologist had warned me back in the labor room that I would probably vomit in the beginning. That was clearly something I did not want to happen, so the moment I felt any nausea after he administered the spinal, I told him and he must have given me some anti-nausea medication and I immediately felt better. Fortunately, because I was able to catch it right away, I never threw up before or after my daughter's birth.

2:33 a.m.
Before I knew it, they were telling Keith to lean over the curtain and take pictures. Before I knew it I heard Bevin's first cries. Before I knew it I was crying as they brought her over to the warmer (which I  could see clearly thanks to my birth plan). Before I knew it they handed her over to Keith and he held her beautiful face up to my face. Her eyes were open. She was so alert. I welcomed her to the world. She stayed next to me for another minute or two. Then Keith went with the delivery nurse into the nursery to weigh and measure her.

"Six pounds, five ounces" someone announced a few minutes later. Laughter as the doctor joked that he was right and everyone teased him because he had been the one to touch her and wriggle her out. Of course, he would be right. Before I knew it, I was being brought into the recovery room.

3:21 a.m.
I held my baby girl in my arms for the first time.  Keith showed his skills again by helping Bevin latch on, and I thought to myself - how does he remember these things? All of my fears, all of my worries slipped away as I bonded with my second baby, my first daughter.

Currently

Currently -- week of April 4

If our children ever demand that they want us to pay for their therapy bills, then we'll just show them our chiropractic bills and call it even.

No matter what carrier I use these days my back is effing killing me. Which brings me to...

Mama is currently...

Drinking lots of water and lots of black tea. Earlier this week I was drinking apple cider vinegar, honey and water to try to fend off the cold from hell that SuperDada and Cole had (and still seem to have.) sometimes when SuperDada gets home from work we have a beer together.

Buying lots of used things. Wednesday we bought a used sleeper for Bevin and a used pair of Woody (toy story character because SuperDada and Cole love that movie) boot slippers. I'm also trying to find a used car seat that will fit into the sit and stand stroller I got for free from a friend. It's still cheaper than buying a new double stroller.

Missing nothing. I like my life the way it is right now. I miss nothing about work, except for my work friends. But we keep in touch, and I don't have to worry about grading or planning. Best of both worlds. Grading -- I will never miss that.

Driving close to home because Bevin is not a fan of the car. Everything has to be ready before we put her in the car seat. Once she's in the car seat it's all systems go. Boom! Grab last minute things in a matter of seconds (because I always forget something). Boom! Get her in. Boom! Get Cole in. Boom! Jump in my seat. Cole: "Hurry before Bevin starts crying!" SuperDada is down the driveway just as I'm getting my seatbelt on, and if we're lucky she falls fast asleep. If not, well then.....shiiiiiiit. We got ourselves a screaming baby. And SuperDada is all. "I knew we should've just gone to Emmanuel's (local grocery store that is very convenient but kind of pricey)."

Obsessing over expressing and storing my breast milk. I pump daily. I can usually be found pumping a) when Bevin first goes down for her morning nap or b) while Bevin is nursing her favorite side (and, thus, neglecting the other less favored side) and sometimes c) when Bevin is done nursing but didn't "empty" one side.
I have been freezing the milk and sometimes I will just open the freezer and stare lovingly at all of my bags of milk. All of that hard work. All of that liquid gold. All of that love.

Cole is currently ...

Eating his dinner ONLY when I force him to throw it out. Then and only then is it finally appealing to him. Suddenly, he's all "Oh! Yemme eat that chickpea." He must have inherited my "must save everything" gene.

Buying or wanting to buy everything he sees on commercials or in the store. He says "I think I wanted _____" or "I think I wanted to buy_____"
And we explain to him that yes indeed you do - that the goal of a commercial is to get you to think you need or want something when you never even knew the product existed. It's a very complicated concept for a two year old to understand. SuperDada was putting him to sleep over the weekend when Cole started to tell him about Stompies - a stupid slipper he saw on a commercial that morning. Obviously our little talk went in one ear and out the other - a huge trend lately.

Not missing whatever toy he is currently hiding. He tends to hide his toys and then forgets where he hides them. Consequently, he forgets he even has the toy. Whenever we discover the hidden/missing toy we always realize that we must record his hiding spots, but always forget.

Obsessed with making tea and coffee for us in the Keurig. Anytime one of us turns on the Keurig, Cole is grabbing his stool and, in seconds, is planting the stool in front of the coffee maker. We've been doing it for about a week now. So Monday morning we thought we'd let him make Superdada a cup of coffee on his own while I surreptitiously made breakfast (another thing he's obsessed with helping us make). The basket and cup ended up in the container of ground coffee! Next thing I know Cole is tossing the spoon behind the Keurig machine and turning the Keurig off! And I'm all WTF?! And then I remembered that he's 2 and probably only remembered the first two steps of the coffee making process. Since I teach teenagers, I'll say that that's pretty damn good. But the spoon behind the Keurig machine was a total mystery to me. I ended up finding two more spoons behind there. And then it dawned on me - he's now hiding kitchen tools. Yikes!

Bevin is currently writing her own themes...

Starting to hold things this week. Monday she grabbed the band on my wrist watch and moved it. Today she was gripping on to my finger.

Gaining lots of weight! Woohoo for Mama's milk! Wednesday was her 2 month well baby visit (a couple weeks late). She weighs 10lbs 7 oz. She's 22.25 inches long and her head is now 14 inches in circumference. Two pounds every month. Awesome! She's pretty much out if her newborn clothes and into the 0-3 months clothes.

Understanding the word "milk" and "nurse. " I noticed this about a month ago when I said to her "Do you want some milk ? Do you want to nurse?" And she practically nodded her head up and down she got so excited. Well today at our doctor visit SuperDada was talking to her and telling her how he takes his coffee. When he said the word "milk" she began to lick her lips.

Obsessing over her brother. She's really starting to watch his every move. Wednesday night I was wearing her in the sling and she was just staring down at him as he finished his bath.

Taking a bath at the same time as her brother this week. (Usually I bathe her after he goes to sleep.) Bevin has an awesome bath tub and loves her bath. Hopefully, I don't jinx it by telling you this but it was pretty fun giving her a bath while he took his.