I know it's not Flashback Friday yet, but I don't care

Most bloggers play by the rules and only post old photos on "Flashback Friday." Well, I'm a rebel (you didn't know that about me, did ya!), and I'm going to post it on Remember When Wednesday. Yep, I'm coining a new day. Be gone with Wordless Wednesday. Remember When Wednesday has taken over this blog.

So why did I decide make this rebellious change, you ask? Well, I was going through the mere 44 photos I have taken in the past year-and-a-half with this here Macbook, and I found the hidden gem below.  It made me say "Aaaawwww" so loudly, that I felt I must share it with you, my dear readers, (especially if you heard me saying "aaaawww," and I didn't tell you why.)

Cole at about 6 weeks old (taken on July 8, 2010)

And we all issue a collective sigh. Remember when they were that young and they just passed out by holding them in this simple yet soothing way? Remember when they were that young and they were putty in our hands? So fragile and tiny. 

I figured this post wouldn't be complete without pairing it up with a picture from present day. The pictures below were taken by Keith at Kelder Farm in Kerhonkson on Columbus Day weekend. I'm sure if you live anywhere near me, you know how beeeeeautiful it was that weekend. In fact, it was almost a little too warm for my liking! (Yeah --- I'm in the to-hell-with-summer mode) We had a fun time feeding and petting the farm animals, but after letting multiple animals (sheep, goats, a calf, and llamas) lick our hands multiple times it was time to wash. 

When I look at this picture, I think, Holy Shit, I'm really a mother!

Mama, being all motherly

When I look at this picture, I can't believe how big he has gotten. He's almost half my size now!

Cole at 16 months old

Oh and this was the view we had while washing said hands. Not bad. Not bad.

That's the Shawangunk ridge in the background. 

Can someone please tell me where the past 17 months have gone? 

Oh wait - I think I found them - they're on this here blog! Thank goodness I saved them!

Lucky me

I was at Waddle n Swaddle this afternoon nursing Cole  (and buying a new carrier- among other things) when a man walked in and went straight to the counter. He began his request, "I need a" and paused a minute as he held his iPhone up to his eyes and read, "a nipple shield that doesn't catch milk, but works for flat nipples." The saleswoman immediately found him a nipple shield, and because he was told by his fiance to purchase two nipple shields, and because the saleswoman couldn't tell if there were two in there, he said, "I'm buying it anyway," and then proceeded to rip open the package to check if there were indeed two nipple shields. I chuckled and Cole kept de-latching to see what was going on.  He even waved at the man and said "Buh-bye" as the man left the store.

I tell this story because it brought me back to those bleary newborn days, when breastfeeding was a real challenge, when Cole didn't sleep for longer than two hours, and when I would spend just about anything if it meant I could get a little bit of help on either of those ends.

When I told Keith this story, he remembered walking in a sleep deprived fog into Toys R Us with a mission - buy a swing. He remembers thinking, "I don't care - I'll pay full price if it means Cole will sleep a little bit longer. And yes, I want goddamn batteries." (If you've ever been to TRU or BRU you are probably chuckling a little because you, too, have been harassed into buying batteries, even if you only bought diapers.)

I'm writing this because it has been a long journey to get here from there. Right now, just five days shy of 17 months, we are having so much fun. Yes, there are times when I want to pull my hair out (if it hasn't already been pulled out) because Cole is so focused on doing what he wants to do. And his focuses range from climbing into and out of the toy chest a dozen times, all the while saying "Tuck! Tuck!" (for stuck) to walking up and down the stairs at whatever place we are at that has stairs (because we have none at home).  But those moments are also beautiful, because his personality is truly shining. He loves the cats, he loves to watch older kids and people. He loves to watch cars and buses go by. He loves to play in the park, run with sticks, step in puddles, and watch bugs. He loves to climb on my back and walk on Keith's stomach. He loves to be bounced on one knee. He loves to read books and point out the objects he knows ("Doll!" "Drum!") He's still such a happy, friendly, loving child, that I couldn't ask for a more wonderful human being to call my son.

So without further adieu... here is my son's first school picture. (This is a picture of a picture, so please excuse the quality. I couldn't wait for Keith to scan it in, I just wanted to post it!)

Coming soon - a post about the carrier I just bought (because I'm sure you're dying to know.)

This week in iPhone pics

Daily Cat Cuteness: Because they deserve their own post

Kiwi and Clem put up with so much abuse lately I figured these lovely creatures deserved their own post. Yes, they can't seem to drink their own water from their own water bowl, and they can't seem to figure out how to cover up their own shit, but they sit there and do absolutely no harm when Cole pokes, prods, jumps, sits, drools, and squeals. He is loving to them - don't get me wrong - he lays his head on their bodies softly and caresses them. But sometimes he gets so excited by the mere sight of them, that they startle a bit. Sometimes he pats them too hard or practically stands on them trying to maneuver around them. Also, we've recently been using them as a distraction to other things he shouldn't be doing, so they are definitely getting some mileage. Hence this post.

Kiwi in all her cuteness

I love the contrast of the colors here.

Clem in all her strange beauty

16 -17 months

Because she is a dedicated reader and post commenter, because she inspires me to write these monthly posts (mine are very similar in structure to hers), and because I said I'd dedicate the next post to whoever gave me some true blog love (read: whoever commented in my last post "The Update on the Update"), I'm dedicating this post to Randalin. 

So Cole turned 16 months almost three weeks ago. Considering my last monthly post was the 14-15 month update, it's only natural that I am giving you this update. In between months. Again. I swear, I meant to do this on purpose.

I'll tell you one thing - this boy loves to talk. Even when he is talking jibberish, it's freaking adorable.
Keith emailed me this morning and said they had a great morning together. They had a long conversation, but Keith wasn't sure what about.

He has so many words lately it is unreal. My list could go on and on. But I'll share with you more than a few notables. Did you really think I could share just a few?

Word explosion


Shaking and nodding
First, I'll start with the agreeable Cole. When he first started answering questions it was to cutely shake his head "no."
Mama: "Did you have fun with Mama today Cole?"
Cole: Shakes his head vigorously back and forth.

Then Keith taught him the fine art of nodding his head. Now, he answers "yes" to everything. And I mean, everything. And when he does it he even somehow makes his eyes nod up and down, up and down. He does it with such emphasis, that you really do believe he understands you. Each and every time.
"Do you love Dada?"
"Did you have fun today?"
"Are you going to buy us a new house when you get older?"
"Are you going to attend a Vermont snowboarding academy and study to be an Olympic snowboarder?"

Please tell me we are not the only parents to ask these questions...


High chair
This is more like "High-ch" but we use that word whenever we want to be sure he wants to eat. If he doesn't want to sit in it, then likely he's just nodded his head to "Do you want an apple?" only because he likes to nod his head.

Hello
He liked to play pretend phone and whenever he has an old phone, my cell phone, or an object that could possibly resemble a phone (in his mind anyway), he holds it up to his ear and says "Hewwo."
It's too damn cute.

Bra
I am going to hell for this, but since he's still nursing he gets curious as to what holds the Doo Doo. So I taught him bra, not consciously, but only because I would constantly say - "hold on let me unhook my bra." Once, I said "What's in the bra, Cole?" expecting him to respond, "Doo Doo." Instead he said "Da Da." I'm still laughing about that one.

Out and Up
He annunciates the T in "out" so it is adorable whenever he says it "OUTTT." He runs to the door whenever I mention the word, but he knows he has to put on his hat and shoes (shus) before we can go out. And ever since he learned to say "Up" he says it whenever he wants us to pick him up. Then he'll say "Down" moments later and it becomes this tiring game that I'm sure many of you have played before.

Hot and Cold
Chances are whenever we give him food, it is piping hot. So I usually have to blow on it to cool it off. Because he is naturally so impatient for the food's impending arrival in his mouth, I have to make a big production of it by blowing on it dramatically. Now, he's taken to saying "hot" and then clasping his mouth, as he's about to eat something. Likewise when we give him a teething ring that has been in the fridge, sometimes he won't want to hold it because it's "cole". Funny he says his name, and I still understand it as cold.

Simple sentences
He's been saying some very basic simple sentences. They began at the end of the summer. Here they are:

I don't know.

Where's Dada?

There's Dada.

I do.

I Cole. ( this is a very recent one)
I see (although it also sounds like he could be trying to say "asshole")

You have to listen carefully to understand these, but they are there and they have been uttered more than once. It's truly amazing how he went from this babbling immobile tiny human being to one that speaks and runs around with his arms flailing behind him like wings.


What Cole loves

• To play with two toys at a time
• To throw his food onto the floor (we're really working on that!)
• To look out the window and watch the neighborhood kids (especially if they are doing dangerous things- like riding around without helmets or playing with someone's wheelchair on the road)
• To play with older kids
• Sticks and rocks
• To watch the school buses drive past his day care (the director sometimes takes him out to watch them and just the other day I got there in time to hold him while we watched. He literally screamed at the top of his lungs every time a bus passed: "THAT!!!")
• To watch trucks
• To hug the cats, pat the cats, sit on the cats
• To run around the front lawn and being chased
• To climb into his high chair
• To go for walks in his stroller
• To check the mail
• To look in the mirror (this never gets old!)
• Bubbles - in the bathtub or outside
• To be worn and see the world from my perspective
• To be held so he can see what's on the kitchen counter.
• To pretend to cook
• To help us cook
• To play with any and all kitchen utensils
• To climb his crib
• To sit on rubber balls
• To watch Barney (Ba!)

Behavioral Challenges

This is one that started sometime over the summer, I'm not exactly sure when. I didn't want to write about it because I thought it made me a bad parent. I was ashamed, and I felt helpless to make it stop. I know it sounds silly, but I thought I had done something wrong to cause it. You probably would think that this would have been the best place to write about it, but I didn't want to share it. The behavioral challenge is that Cole bangs his head. It's a way to self soothe, but he also does it to get attention. He bangs it on the back of his high chair, the wall, the window, and sometimes (scarily) the floor. Over the past month or two I've reached out in various ways to friends and medical professionals to learn how I can put an end to it. I've come to the conclusion that I have to ignore it, distract him, and not focus on it, unless of course he really hurts himself (which he has only done a few times). But it's a behavior that can last until he's 3, so as much as I want it to go away, I don't think it's going to end anytime soon.

This month's pictures that illustrate some of his loves and some that were just too damn cute not to show you...

He loves his shoos.

Oven mitts as puppets - who knew?

Cooking up a sweet sauce for the family.

What? You never try to climb on something using your face?

Mr. Serious

Seriously. All a toddler needs is a stainless steel bowl and a wooden spoon. Forget all of those other toys.

Before we put the old glider on the side of the road for free, Cole used it as his rocker when he drank his afternoon bottle. Anyone know where I can get a kid's rocker?

Cole doing some microwave cooking with Chef Barbie

The wings are in place...

And he's off! 

Eating yogurt with a spoon

Posing for Mama

Looking for a good recipe (I told you this kid loves to cook)

And coming soon.... Cole's first school picture! The results were adorable. His teachers were not exaggerating.

The update on the update

Who are you, my dear reader? I have been wondering this as of late. I know that I have some friends and family who read this site,  but who else do I not know about? Keith and I were talking about blogging last night and how some people actually make money off of their blogs. They make their blogs public (although I am not sure exactly what that means) and they make blogging a priority, so they don't slack on posts, and they sell ad space to like minded people. Also, these bloggers get schwag - free shit. The reason we started talking about this is because I am looking into yet another carrier (I know, I know, I have issues), and the only real reviews online were mommy bloggers who got the carrier for free. (It's the newly released Boba 3G). So of course their reviews were positive (to the point of drooling over them) - and not a single negative note makes me highly suspicious. Luckily, Waddle and Swaddle liked the carriers too, so they'll be carrying them as soon as the shipment comes in and Cole and I will get to try one out (she doesn't do returns but lets you walk around town with the carrier on for 45 minutes to test it out).

I still have Heather's Ergo, but I'm returning it next Sunday, and I've decided I'm not buying myself one until I'm convinced there is nothing better out there. I think the Boba might possibly be what I am looking for. The child rides 2-3 inches higher than the Ergo and it's designed to keep them upright and not let them pull back, which causes the wearer to overcompensate and hunch over. They look more like the Beco, but they don't seem to sag. If it sucks, I'm going to just buy myself an Ergo. If it doesn't, well then I'll have a newborn to toddler carrier that I can use next time around if there is a Baby Ferris #2.

Back to the blogging. I love to blog. But as I stated in my last post, I just can't find the time to do it regularly - as in once or twice a week. I'm too exhausted on week nights, and I'd rather go to sleep than blog. I hope I don't lose readers, but I figure if people really give a shit, they'll check back from time to time. At some point, I would love to focus more on blogging, but with teaching it is near impossible to do that. Thankfully, the summer brings time off and less worries, so I can definitely shift my focus again in 9 months. Until then, please bear with me and check back as often as you can. When I get a free moment, I will post. ( You can always subscribe to my blog via email, so that you don't have to always check to see if I've posted something).

Update on breastfeeding:
Surprise of all surprise - I'm still pumping at work. It's not for very long (7 minutes), but I'm afraid if I do stop pumping I could really lose my supply. And as many of you know - I'm currently only a one-boob operation. (I have two boobs; he just nurses on one). And Cole is all about the "Doo Doo," so I wouldn't want to take that away from him until he's ready. I was going to stop pumping come October, but the nice secretary in the main office made me my very own pink "Do not Disturb" sign my last day of pumping (she didn't know it was my last day). So I decided to continue for a week or so more. (I know, I'm crazy - who continues to pump just because someone made them a sign? Me. That's who.) I'm thinking that from this week on, I might just pump twice a week - the day I return after a weekend and the day I stay late at work to get grading done.

Update on Cole's sleep:
Thanks to the pain of teething Cole has been waking up once or twice a night. Although there was a time only 4 months ago that I would've given anything to have him wake up once or twice, now that I've gotten a taste of an entire night of sleep, I'm tired and cranky as a result. His night waking times range from 10 to midnight and/or 2:30 - 3:30. What's difficult is that if Keith goes in there, Cole doesn't always resettle and is up for a longer period of time. In fact, when Keith goes in there he usually screams in protest because Keith is obviously not who he was hoping for. No Doo Doo there.

Update on my job:
I'm having a good year so far, my kids seem to be respectful and somewhat enthusiastic (I'll take any level of enthusiasm at this point), and I love my 8th grade honors class. Although the kids are chatterboxes with no off switch, they seem to like and care about each other, and they're nice to each other. This happens rarely with a class. I feel a little magic in the air. Let's hope it continues to be a great year with them.

But with the recent changes in how teachers are evaluated (APPR), there is more pressure on ELA and Math teachers to teach to the test, especially those who teach from grades 3-8. The state wants us to personally be held accountable for student test scores. So 20 percent of our year-end evaluation will be how well or how poorly our students did on the state test. If they failed, our evaluation "grade"  - if you will - will obviously suffer. So that means more pressure to teach to the test, which means that I have to reinvent the wheel a bit and focus on skills, strategies, etc, instead of the curriculum we've been using the past 4 years. Last year was a shift away from the curriculum as APPR threatened to belittle everything we do in the classroom. But now that APPR actually exists, there is more focus than ever before on getting those skills taught before the April test (yes you read that right - we only have 7.5 months to prepare them for the test and motivate them to care about the test.). The only positive of this is that it is currently an unfunded state mandate so most district are not making it a priority. Also, NYSUT is claiming that they are not done fighting it. Basically, becoming a teacher when I did - not the best idea.
Another "highlight" of my career, was that I recently received my professional certification (pardon me if I've already mentioned this). That might sound like an accomplishment, but it doesn't feel like it to me. It means that starting in July 2012, I have to partake in 175 hours of inservice every 5 years for the rest of my career.  Unfortunately, I got my initial certification just when they ended the "make a video after your first 5 years and you can teach unbothered for the rest of your life" professional certification requirement.

Update on Cole's day care:
We were this close (fingers pinched) to switching him to home care. And then, the day care director fired the day care teacher who we disliked. And all the parents of the toddlers in that room collectively jumped for joy. I am not kidding you. (And I am not one to celebrate someone else's misfortune - but she was not cut out for this). Keith and I had both grown to dread sending him there, and I would rush from work to pick him up every day, causing me great stress. As I stated before in my posts, he did not seem happy at all when I picked him up. He was rarely laughing or smiling and usually seemed lost. Whenever I picked him up, I didn't like what I saw, and I didn't like how she treated Cole. Sometimes she undermined my authority and sometimes she questioned my parenting. This is NOT what a day care provider should do. They should provide support to the parents and love to the child. This all made my heart sink. I mean, this is who was taking care of him for 50 hours out of the week. So Keith and I were exploring other options. MANY other options. One of those was home care. We found a few places around here that suited, but nothing panned out because openings were closed in a matter of days. Just when we were at our wits end we got the news. The director had "let her go." Apparently she had just recently told a parent how to raise her child. That was the last straw. The director knew she was a liability and that she was going to lose kids because of it. She also said the teacher wasn't doing her job and that things were not getting done the way they were supposed to. So she (the director) is in there until she finds a replacement. Now that this has happened, I feel more comfortable with:
 a) talking to her about any concerns I might have and
b) the fact that she will be careful in how she chooses a replacement.
                                                                      ***

Coming soon  - a 16 to 17 months post --(because I can never manage to get my shit together enough to do these on time and give you one month at a time!).

And for those of you who are still left wondering about what's going on in our lives....
What else do you want to know about? If there's something I missed in this update, please feel free to let me know in the comment box.

And if you want to be even more daring, leave a comment, and tell me who you are and why you read this blog. I'd love you for it. Maybe I'll dedicate my next post to you!

Lost in the land of work

I wish I had more time to post. I wish I had more time to do anything for me. As Keith says, "time is the biggest commodity." We have barely any of it. If we're not cooking or cleaning, we're playing with the baby or struggling to get tons of work done within a small window of time. All of you working parents can understand this daily struggle, so I don't need to say much more. When I was home this summer, I was super busy during the day, but I had no "homework" per se, so I could blog freely at night and during Cole's nap time. Obviously, going back to work changed all of that. I have homework once again. That's the one part of this job I absolutely detest. Bringing my work home. Anyone who tells you a teacher's job is easy or that they wish they had teacher's hours - do you really enjoy working on your days off? I didn't think so. This lack of time is the reason why I haven't posted in over two weeks. When I have free time I must plan for the week. This year, more than previous years, I must make sure my lessons are solid and well structured. And even though this is my 6th year teaching, this year I have to re-invent the wheel. When I next post, I will explain what I mean. (But, if you're an English or Math teacher, you already know what I mean.) But right now, I have barely enough time to write this before I have to shove off to bed.

Here are a few (okay - more than a few) pictures from the past few weeks. Enjoy. 

I'll be back. I promise.

Keith made up the captions. That's why this is a blog about working parents - we work together on my blog posts!

It's hard to pick one toy.

Stop kissing me mom. I'm trying to get my picture taken.

Cole's really eating through his shoes.

My new hat. You can never be too safe.

Dance time with Dada

That kid really tires me out.

I'm socked.

Dada, you forgot to open the blinds.

One thing I have to brag about before I go - Cole's day care had a photographer come in for picture day last Friday.  Cole was apparently the only kid out of all of the children (including the 3s and 4s) who sat and smiled for his picture. They said he was a natural. (Are you really surprised?) They'll be given out in a few weeks. I'll be sure to post the results!